All Over Again
by iwannabeyoursonly
Summary: Liz was Negan's real wife before the world fell apart. But she lost him a few weeks into the new world and she considered him dead ever since. She met with Rick's group and stayed with them ever since. Two years later she never thought that she would meet with Negan again. But will everything be the same? Will she be able to handle Negan's new ways?
1. Chapter 1

All I could feel was the cold. All over me. My fingers were numb from the cold, and as I was kneeling I thought about how hard it would be to stand up again. If I ever got the chance to stand up again. If any of us ever got that chance, to be honest. Judging by the situation I'd say that's not going to happen.

I looked to my right and I could see Maggie. She was barely keeping herself together and she looked so pale that I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from whatever was happening to her. Probably a miscarriage. I felt sorry for her. She didn't deserve this. No one of them did.

Rick was to my left, and the look on his face is one that I had never seen on him. One that I never thought I'd ever see. He was shocked. He couldn't believe that this was really happening. But it was and unlike every other time our hands were tied. We couldn't do anything. Just sit and wait for him to come out the RV.

That's when they opened the trunk. We all looked, as they were getting more of our people out of it. They had Eugene, Rosita, Michonne, Glenn and, oh no, Daryl. He looked pale just like Maggie. All the colour was drained from his face. They put a black cloth over him. He was shot and he was bleeding. He shouldn't be here. This wasn't happening.

They brought them where we were and pushed them to the ground. The minute Glenn saw Maggie he started yelling for her, but it was all pointless. There was just nothing, that we could do. Just like Maggie, Daryl fell to the ground and tried really hard to keep himself up. He looked around all our faces and then he spotted me. He saw him mouth "no". His eyes looked like he was almost begging me to tell him, that I wasn't really here. That I wasn't in any danger. That he was the only one, who could see me.

But I was here. And I was in danger. We all were. All I wanted to do was run next to him and hold him. He looked like he was about to pass out any minute now. But, as much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't. I would risk putting both our lives in danger, and that just couldn't happen. I had to be strong. I looked and him again and he his gaze was still holding mine. I mouthed back "I'm sorry". I was. That's when one of the guys that caught us started talking.

"Alright. Looks like we have a full boat. Let's meet the man".

We've heard a lot about this man. He was said to be dangerous and cruel. But one thing was certain. He was definitely smarter than all of us. We walked into their place and killed so many of his men in their sleep. And we let them turn. We thought that it would end there and no one would be coming back for us. He didn't have the man power anymore, right?

Wrong. We were too naive to think that it would end there. Apparently that wasn't the only place he had. Even after all the people we killed they were still more. I mean we were the ones kneeling right? Yeah. That was right. To say that I was scared of him would be an understatement.

When I first heard about him I was shocked. Not because of all the things we heard about him. But because of hs name. His name was Negan. I knew a Negan once. Of course it wasn't the same Negan. It couldn't be. But still. His name sent chills over my entire body. What if it was though? That would certainly change everything. But on the other hand I don't know if I was ready for that said change. I mean I knew that he was dead. I saw it happen. Or so I thought.

I was brought back to reality, when the RV door opened and he walked out. He was a tall man. I could see his boots and dark jeans. He was still standing in the shadows, so I couldn't see his face. What if it was him? What would I do?

"Pissin' our pants yet?" he asked. "Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close." His voice. This was his voice.  
"Yeah. It's gonna be pee pee pants city here, real soon" No. This wasn't it. He can't be…

"Which one of you pricks is the leader?" he asked this time. As he walked towards us I saw his face. It was him. This was Negan. The Negan I knew, before all this happened. We got separated early on, when the world went to shit.

But I saw him die. We were surrounded by walkers, there was no way out. He pushed me out and he saved me. But he was gone. He was dead. I heard his screams. How was it possible that he was standing here in front of me? Alive.

I couldn't focus on anything that was coming out of his mouth. This was all unreal. I bowed my head down and got lost in my thoughts once more. I would occasionally listen to his voice. He kept walking around. Taunting us. What happened to him? Why was he being this way? This man standing here, before me, wasn't the man I knew. The man I….

" You are so going to regret crossing me in a few minutes. Yes you are. You see Rick whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order and the new world order is this. Even if you're stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it. You ready? Here goes, pay attention. Give me your shit or I will kill you. Today was career day. We invested a lot and you know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me, That's your job. Now I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow but swallow it you most certainly will." he just kept talking, there was no end to this.

What is he talking about? The Negan I knew, my Negan would never say these things. He would never do these things. Sure he was no angel, but he would never resort to these ways. I've missed on a lot, I guess.

"You understand? What? No answer?" he was mainly talking to Rick but I knew that his words were for all of us.  
"You don't really think that you are going to get through this without being punished."

"I don't want to kill you people, I want to make that clear from the get go. I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're dead, now can you? But you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them, more than I am conformable with and for that you have got to pay."

He walked closer to Rick and was closer to me too. Even though I wanted to talk to him. To get up and hug him because he was alive. And then hit him for the things he was saying to us, I stood still. I felt like this was not the right time for him to see me. He moved his barbed baseball bat infront of us. It was inches away from my face.

"So now, I am going to beat the holy hell out of one of you. This is Lucille. She is awesome. All this, is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honour."

No. He can't do that. I'm not going to let him do that.

"No it's not." I said, still keeping my head down. From the corner of my eye I could see him turning his head my way.

He looked shocked that someone spoke. He wasn't expecting to hear anything from any of us. He laughed "What was that, sweetheart?" He didn't recognise my voice, huh?

"You're not going to kill any of us." I said sternly. I was defending my ground and I would continue to do so.

"Is that so?" he asked curious. "And why is that? You haven't even given me the curtesy, of looking my way all night doll" he challenged.

"Because I said so" I said and he burst out laughing. So did his men.

But then I stood up and looked up at him. And our eyes locked. Immediately he stopped laughing. His eyes looked as if they would pop out of his head any second now. Daryl gave me a look like I was crazy, his eyes telling me to shut my mouth and sit back down. I wasn't going to.

He stared at me and I could tell that he couldn't speak. He wasn't believing his eyes. How could he?

"Whaat? he stuttered. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm alive and apparently so are you." I said.

"How?" his voice was so low that I could barely listen to him. His face had softened a lot.

"It doesn't matter. But I'm alive. And here I am. Herr we are." I answered. "You can't kill any of them. There the reason I'm alive. All of them."

That seemed to bring him back to reality, and to realise that we weren't alone. He looked around and I did too. His men were all looking at us like we were the weirdest thing they've ever seen. So did my friends. His expression changed again and all of a sudden he walked fast towards me.

I wasn't scared. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me.

"What do you think you're doing? Do you have any idea how many of my people you've killed? And what, you think I'd let you all go unpunished? This isn't a joke doll, one of you is not going back today." even though his words were harsh, and I knew he was deadly serious, I felt my knees get weak by the sound of my nickname. Doll.

"Then kill me." I told him. "I'm willing to sacrifice myself for my friends. But none of them is dying here today."

Daryl and the others yelled no, but I was determined. No one was going to die here today. Negan wasn't expecting this response. I knew he couldn't kill me and I challenged him. But what if he'd changed so much that in the name of looking powerful and not losing his men's faith he did kill me?

"Are you fucking crazy? What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled.

"I told you. They will not die here. Not today. Not by your hand." I retorted back.

"So kill her. Why the hell are you even thinking about it? The chick is crazy. She has a death wish. I can't do it myself if you're feeling itchy about it, boss." one of his men said and some others laughed along.

"You will not get close to her. And you will not touch one fucking hair, from her fucking head. Do you fucking hear me?" He answered so loud. I don't think I've ever heard yell this loud before. His men immediately backed down.

"So what will it be?" I pressured him.

He looked sceptical for a moment and tried his best not to look at me. He was avoiding me, I could tell. It made me feel so sad that he didn't want to be around me. He looked up finally holding my gaze for what felt like six seconds.

"Well, like I said before, I can't just let you go. You killed a lot of my people and that will not go unpunished. Now, sweetheart, it's up to you. You will make the decision. You will choose if one of your friends is going to die here today. The choice is very simple really. You'll either choose to let me smash one your friend's head in and we'll let you go on your way, or.." he paused for a moment.

"Or what?" I asked him. I'm not going to let any of them die.

"Or, you'll come back with me. You will let go of your "friends" and you'll come with me. Now, be careful. If you choose to come with me, you might never see any of them again. It's not like I'll be letting you to take little trips whenever you feel like it." he finished his proposal and I stared at him.

How could I go back with him? Obviously nothing was the same between us anymore. What was going to happen? I couldn't just leave them. I had to be there for Maggie. And what about Daryl?

But I didn't go back with him, he was going to kill one of them. I wasn't about to let him do that. No, this was the only way and it wasn't really a choice.

"Fine. I'll come with you" I answered and he looked satisfied with my response.

"Good." he said and started walking back towards the RV. "You have five minutes to say goodbye. I'll be waiting inside." and with that he walked off and got in the RV. Most of his men started getting into cars and only a few were left. The ones that were probably going to drive my friends back to Alexandria. I looked at them and they all stared back at me with sad eyes. They were all standing now. Rick was holding Daryl up. And Glenn and Abraham held Maggie.

"How could you do that?" Daryl asked me. He looked like I had betrayed him, sad and angry.

"He was going to kill on of you. This was the only way that we'd all get to walk away unharmed." I tried to be strong but I was getting emotional. What if this was the last time I saw them?

"This isn't a choice. Who knows what he'll do to you, Liz?" Michonne asked me.

"He won't hurt me. If there's one thing you shouldn't be worrying about is him hurting me"

"How can you be so sure? Didn't you hear him?" Carl almost yelled at me.

"Yeah Liz, how? And how do you know this guy?" Maggie asked me. God she looked worse.

"Because I know." I said trying to avoid the last question. They didn't have to know that.

"You didn't answer the question, Liz. Where do you know, this guy from?" Rick asked me and this time I knew I had to tell them.

"Come on, girl. That's enough. Time to go." another one of his men said to me. I turned around and looked for Negan. He was looking at me through the RV window, and I could tell he was pissed as hell.

As I started walking towards the RV, I stopped for a minute turned back and looked at them. This probably was the last time I saw them.

"He's my husband" I told them.

And they looked like this was the craziest thing that they heard tonight. Daryl looked broken, more than jus betrayed this time.

I turned around and open the RV door. I got in and he was sitting at the edge of the bed. I could feel his anger radiating through him. This wasn't going to be end well.


	2. Chapter 2

As I got closer to the RV my breath hitched in my throat. I was worried, and for some reason scared too. I've never seen him this mad before. What was it going to be like? We haven't seen each other in almost two years. I was still trying to comprehend how could he be alive. I pushed my thoughts away and reached the door handle. I pushed open the door and I walked inside. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, he had "Lucille" between his legs using her for support. He was looking right at me, not like before. As I got inside, I closed the door behind me and I walked slowly to him. I couldn't sit next to him, it was too soon. Instead I sat across from him on a chair. I used to be able to read him like an open book, but now I couldn't understand his expression. He looked mad, offended even.

"So" he paused, "You chose to stay, huh?" "Yes, I did" I replied. "Tell me something, why did you do it? Was it because you really wanted to come with me? Or was it, because you just wanted to save your friend's life?"

"Does it really matter? I chose to stay so there's that."

"Of course it fucking matters. I'm not going to be keeping you there against your fucking will. If you hate the idea so much, you're free to go." he answered but I knew him too well to know that he didn't mean it.

"Negan, I'm here. I made the decision to stay. I did. You offered and I said yes. So why are we still talking about this?" I was really wondering.

"Because I want to know the real reason. Why you really decided to stay. I'm not going to pretend that everything is alright. Because it's not."

"I know it's not. You don't think I fucking know that? Your people captured us, brought us here, while we were just trying to get our friend to Hilltop. She needed a doctor, she is pregnant. Actually she might not be anymore, thanks to you. And then you walked out of this stupid RV, taunting my people, talking like you own us. Well guess what? You DON'T. So don't ask me why I chose to stay. I'm not sure yet and I don't want to say something that I'm going to regret." I realised I was yelling because he stood up to face me. I forgot how taller he was when he was standing so close to me.

"Liz, you better shut that pretty little mouth of yours. Before I shut it myself. Things have changed. I'm not the man you remember me to be. So I'd advice you to be pretty fucking careful." he said and took of. He got out of the RV shutting the door behind him. So I guess he wasn't riding with me.

I sat down on the bed, right where he was sitting. I put my head in my hands and it suddenly felt heavier than I expected. I felt everything caving in. I felt like there was no more air for me to breathe. Tears ran down my face and I couldn't stop them. I just let the run. That's when the for opened once more, thinking that it was Negan I tried to wipe my tears, but it wasn't him. It was Dwight.

In the middle of this entire night I totally forgot about Dwight. He searched for me in the small space, and when he found me he smiled. I gave him a weak smile in return. Dwight and I grew up together. He and I were friends since kindergarten. It was always me, Dwight and Sherry, she was his wife by the way and my best friend. I met Negan through Dwight, when I was a freshman in College. I hoped Sherry was still alive. I'm sure Dwight kept her safe.

"Look at you Lizzie. I never thought I'd see you again. Come here." He walked to me and opened his arms for a hug.

"Oh Dwight, I've missed you so much. You know that?" this was definitely not helping my tears that were running like rivers by now.

"Shh it's okay honey. You're back now. We're all together again. It was about damn time, don't you think?" he asked and I chuckled.

"It really was, wasn't it? Look at me crying like a baby" I said while trying to wipe off my tears.

"Come on I'm going to drive, but we can talk on the way home." He said walking towards to driver's seat. I took a seat next to him. Home, was what he said, but was it really? We talked about everything. He told me what happened after we all got separated. How they managed to find and build the Sanctuary. I told him about everything that I've been through and I made him promise me that he would not say a word to Negan. If he wanted to know he could ask me himself.

"Lizzie, you need to know that he has changed a lot. He's not the man you remember him to be. He's stronger, more powerful. He's the leader and he needs to act like one. He's not soft by any way. He kills without overthinking it and when he wants something he's not going to ask twice."

"Dwight, no offence but he's not the only one who's changed. I'm not the same person I've been before everything."

"No Liz you don't understand. It's not just his ways. He's changed habits. It's more complicated than that." he tried to explain.

"Then make it simple Dwight what do you mean?" I was starting to get really curious now.

"Alright there's not easy to say this. So I'm just going to say it. Negan has wives, back home." he said. Um what?

"Um wives, as in multiple?"

"Well yeah. About six or seven I'm not sure." he said with an apologetic look. Im pretty sure that my reaction was something that he was not expecting. I stood up while he pulled up to what I suppose was the Sanctuary. I burst out laughing. I couldn't believe my ears. What the fuck? Was he really that psychotic? I just couldn't stop laughing. I don't even remember the last time I laughed this hard. Dwight was confused and started smiling laughing as well.

"He has wives? Really? So what the hell am I doing here?" I asked still not being able to stop laughing.

"Well you'll be queen wife or something, I don't know" What he said was stupid buy we only laughed even harder.

That was when the door opened and Negan came in and saw us laughing. He had that same angry look on his face from before, but I had a feeling that seeing us laughing would only make it worse. And it did.

"Having fun?" He asked ironically.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I think we are." I answered. I felt like I was tipsy just from laughing. I haven't felt this calm even in Alexandria.

"Oh really? Well fun is over so get the hell out." He said sternly.

"Yes, boss." I replied. At this point it was like a battle of who would make the other more angry. He gave me a disapproving look and motioned for me to get out. I did and Dwight soon followed after me.

We started walking side by side with Negan behind us. That's when Dwight spoke to me but I was the only one that could here him.

"Did I mention that he has a favourite? Her name is Megan he spends a lot of time together. It's like they're dating but he gets to fuck the others as well." he said to me. Now I know that he told me this to make me laugh, but there was nothing funny about this. The thought of him sleeping with other women didn't bother me as much, but the idea of him getting close to some other woman angered me. I wanted to keep him as away from her as possible. But I knew that I didn't have the right to do that anymore.

I stopped walking and turned to face him. He was thinking about something else that he almost bumped into me. I was stunned. The last part of Dwight's story I wasn't expecting it. I kept looking at him in disbelief and he raised his eyebrows confused. He tried to ask what was wrong but then I turned around and started walking fast. I think I was almost running and I had n idea where I was going. It looked like a factory, of some sort.

Dwight sprinted trying to catch up to me. "Hey hey, what was that about? Did I say something?". Ugh, poor Dwight.

"No Dwight don't worry, you did nothing wrong. It's just that I'm tired and this is really hard for me." I tried my best to convince him.

"So you want to see Sherry tomorrow? I'm sure she'll understand that you're tired and all."

"Yeah that would be great Dwight. Thank you so much. And don't become a stranger, please."

"Never. Come on, do you want me to take you to your room?"

"Yes please."

All I wanted was to be alone. He took me through a long hallway and then we finally got to a small but cute room. It was the last one in the hallway.

"So mine and Sherry's room is six doors down. And, um, Negan's room is around the corner. You're technically next to him."

Great, I thought to myself. I had to be left alone. He handed me the keys, hugged me goodbye and took off. Just when I was about to close the door behind me I saw Negan passing by, he stopped and looked at me. I knew he wanted to say something to me, but I slowly closed the door making him understand he was not welcome. Not after all the things he said to me. I had to keep a distance between us. But I knew that I wasn't going to be able to avoid him for longer than one day. For now, though, I needed peace. Away from him.


	3. Chapter 3

I spent the night crying and I don't even know why. It wasn't because I was alone, I've been alone before. It also wasn't because I probably wasn't going to see my friends anymore. I knew it was the right thing to do. I couldn't risk Negan killing any of them. Then Negan's question crossed my mind. "Why did you choose to stay?". Why? Really Liz, why? I honestly did not have an answer to that. Some part of me wanted to be with him. Of course it did. I spent almost ten years of my life with this man. I missed him. This whole time, I thought he was dead. I changed and grew into this new world, thinking that he was dead. But did I truly stay because in some twisted way I wanted to be with him? But how twisted can that idea really be? I'm his wife after all, aren't I? Well I guess he has more than one wife now, according to Dwight. Why did he do that? I really don't understand. Talking about twisted ideas.

But he has changed too. Putting aside this whole "six or seven wives" thing, he's still different. He was so brutal yesterday. I've never thought I'd hear him say these things. He was acting like he owned us. Like he had power over us. And he looks different too, in comparison to the last time I saw him. His hair and beard have turned grey. Negan is older than me, but not that old. He looks thinner. And he had a scar on his face, just under his right eye. I wonder what happened to him. What made him change his entire attitude, even towards me. But I'm never going to ask him that. At least not yet. I can't face him, it's awkward and weird.

I turned around in my bed and looked out the tiny window. It must have been about 5 or 6 am. I knew I wouldn't sleep any longer so I decided to get up and look around. See if maybe I could take a shower.

The room was pretty small but it was nicely decorated. It had a bed that was pushed to the wall with a nightstand next to it. There was also a dresser, fully stocked with clothes, and a small vanity next to it. There was also a small bookcase with a few books, and a chair. The room didn't have a bathroom so I guess there was a shower area or something. I'm pretty sure Dwight would come look for me later but I wanted to look around. I was going to spend a long time in this place, so why not? I decided I wanted to take a shower, so I took a towel and a change of clothes from the dresser.

I opened the door and looked around. It was awfully quiet. I took my keys in my hands and locked the door behind me. This place looked strange. It wasn't like Alexandria. I kept walking looking for a place that looked somehow like a shower area. It felt like the hallway was never gong to end, there were tons of rooms.

After what felt like 20 minutes of pointless walking around I finally found the showers. Thankfully they were empty. I picked a shower and put my clothes and towel to the side. The water was so warm that I relaxed immediately. We didn't have warm water in Alexandria. It was mostly cold and sometimes, if you were lucky, slightly warm. I took my time enjoying the water and then I heard noise. Someone else had entered the showers. Great, I really didn't feel like meeting anyone else right now, and especially in the showers. I waited until they started the shower. After getting dressed I got out. I tried brushing my teeth as fast as I could, but I guess it wasn't fast enough. The person got out and it was a woman. She looked older than me. She had long brown hair and really blue eyes. She came to the sink next to me and greeted me with a smile. I smiled back at her and was about to leave the showers when she spoke.

"You're the new girl, right?" she asked.

"Yes." I simply said.

"I heard that Negan made you decide between coming here or him killing one if your people." she stated but it was obvious she wanted an answer.

"Yes he did." I replied.

"I'm so sorry you had to make that choice. But if it brings you any comfort it's good here. It's safe. He keeps us all safe. Negan. He cares about us. I'm sure you don't really like him now, but if you get to know him you'll see that he cares." Um, this was getting awkward but all I wanted to do was laugh. I didn't though.

"Right. Well I'm sure you're right. I'll just give him time then." I said.

"Yes, that would be amazing." she replied with a smile. Alright then.

"Well I'm going to head back to my room. Thanks for the talk." I said turning around and just wanting to get out of this conversation already.

"Any time. I'm Megan by the way. What's your name?" I think is what is said, but all I could focus on was one thing. Megan. Her name was Megan. It had to be Megan that I ran into the showers? Of course it had to. I turned around looking back at her and she had extended her hand to me. So Megan is also polite, isn't she? I gave her my hand and she shook it.

"I'm Liz. Nice to meet you." I said. It really wasn't.

"Nice to meet you too." she replied all smiley. Okay that was enough. I got out as fast as I could and I basically sprinted to my bedroom. I took so many turns, that now I only hoped I didn't get lost. I recognised the familiar door and I was struggling with my keys when I heard a very familiar voice.

"Liz. Is that really you?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Liz? Is that really you?" the voice asked. I immediately forgot all about Megan and everything else that I had on my mind. I turned around and it was Sherry. I felt my eyes water and all I wanted to do was cry. And I did.

"Yes, Sher. This is me. Missed me?" I asked and next thing I knew she ran and hugged me hard. It was a bone crushing hug, but I didn't mind. We stayed like that for about 5 minutes and we cried. I need thought I'd see her again.

"I can't believe that you're really here. We thought you were dead. What happened? You've got to tell me everything." she said. Same old Sherry. I laughed and we walked into my room.

I did tell her everything. From right after the minute Negan and I got separated, how Glenn later found me wandering alone in the woods and basically forced me to go to his camp. How they all helped me and made me feel safe, even when I thought that it was all pointless. What I told her, that I hadn't told Dwight yesterday night, is that me and Daryl have gotten really close after everything that we've been together. I told her about Hershel's farm, about the prison, about the Governor. How we all got separated but eventually found our way back to each other. Then I told her about Terminus and I honstly thought that this was the worse that had happened to us. And lastly I told her all about Alexandria. And how we got to last night's evens. She was surprised to say the least.

"Wow. This whole time, you've been out there? I can't even imagine what that must be like. I'm sorry for everything you had to go through Liz. I wish it was easier for you." she said apologetically.

"Don't feel sorry, Sherry. It only made me stronger. Don't get me wrong, if I could take all these things back, I would. But I can't and that's okay." I reassured her "Enough about me though, tell me about you. How did you all end up in this place?".

"Well that's all thanks to Negan. After he came back without you, he wasn't the same. He was not talking to any of us for weeks. He went on runs by himself and he wouldn't come back for days. And when he did it was only to leave again after a while. But then Dwight talked to him. They had a huge fight. But he knocked some sense into him and after that he started getting better. Negan is a natural born leader, you know that. We found some more people and it was about 30 of us. We had to find a stable and secure place. And then we came across this place. It was awful at first. It took us almost two months just to clean it up and get the electricity and the water to start again. But it did and then it became easier. We slowly built it to what it is now, but we wouldn't have made it without Negan. Have the two of you spoken?" she asked me.

"If you consider, him making me choose between the life of one of my friends and coming here, and then him screaming at me in the RV and just taking off "speaking" then I supposed we did."

"Liz. Negan's different. The circumstances changed him. Except me and Dwight, he trusts no one. Sure he has a lot of people working for him but I don't believe he fully trusts any of them. He's harsh with words. And it's not just that. There's also this other thing." she said.

"You mean the harem thing? Yeah Dwight told me all about it."

"Dwight can't seem to know when to shut his mouth, does he? Well it's not a harem. It's more of a way for him to…."

"Yeah, let's not talk about that, it's too awkward to imagine him, you know." It really was. "Oh. Did I tell you? You know who I met this morning? I believe her name is Megan."

Sherry was a little shocked and looked at me like she had no idea what to say to me. I'd feel that way too.

"Um, Megan huh? Ugh Liz I'm sorry. This is too weird for me, I can't imagine what it might feel like for you." she replied.

"It is weird Sherry yes. Me and Dwight were laughing about it for what seemed like 20 minutes yesterday. But the moment he told me about Megan, Negan's favourite girl, it's like everything stopped. I don't know what it was but I felt like throwing up." I honestly told her.

"You know what it was Liz. It was jealousy. You were jealous that he was with another woman. And it's normal. He's your husband. I mean even after all this you do love him, right?" there was another question that I didn't know the answer to.

"I-" I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I felt a wave of relief. "Come in."  
The door opened and Dwight came in. He smiled at me. "Good morning Lizzie. Did you sleep good?" he asked me.

"Yes Dwight, thank you. So what do you do here all day?" I questioned hoping that Sherry wouldn't repeat her question. She gave me strange look and I knew she would be asking me later.

"Well, I mainly go on runs and deal with things outside the Sanctuary. Sometimes Negan calls a meeting with all the men that are responsible for security, but I don't think that'd be happening today. I haven't spoken to him yet." Dwight informed me.

"Why is that?" I was curious.

"He's not up yet. But I'm pretty sure that after yesterday there are a lot of thing he'd want to take care of."

"Huh. Alright. And what am I supposed to do here? Back in Alexandria I used to go on runs almost all the time. I'm not used to sitting on my ass all day."

"Liz no offence but it's not up to you. Negan will be the one to-"

"Right of course. Everything is up to Negan. He brings me here, refuses to talk to me, yells at me and now he'll just say jump and I'm supposed to ask how high?" if they couldn't tell I was angry and confused. This whole situation was so frustrating.

"Lizzie I'm sorry but he's the one in charge. The two of you need to work your shit out. I'm not kidding." he replied in all seriousness.

"Come on guys let's not fight yet. We're all together again and I want to enjoy it. Look it's about 09:30 am breakfast will be served any minute now. Aren't you hungry?" Sherry asked me and I really did not want to ruin it for her.

"Finally something that I want hear. Yes I'm starving. Let's go." I grabbed both of them and dragged the outside while they laughed.

After they showed me around for a while, we finally got to the kitchen and the delicious smells overwhelmed me. My stomach started growling. I was hungrier than I thought. Me and Sherry took a seat at one of the empty tables, while Dwight went to get our food. A lot of people passed from our table greeting Sherry and introducing themselves to me. They were actually pretty nice. Dwight came back with our food and started eating so fast making them both laugh. It felt good to be back with them. And I thing that as long as I had the two of them I wold be alright. Or at least so I thought.

Negan walked inside and everyone greeted him with smiles on their faces. It looked like they admired him a lot. He walked to the food court and people were running to his every need. When he finally got his plate he spotted us sitting together. He and I made eye contact for what felt like forever but then he turned around and sat somewhere else.

I let my eyes fall to the ground. He never avoided me before. Even when we used to fight he would scream at me, he would break things but he would always talk to me. Even if it was just a plain "good morning". I felt myself wanting to cry and I tried so hard not to. Apparently a tear must have slipped because Sherry came to my side, without earning unnecessary attention and held my hand.

"I'm sorry." she said.

"Yeah. Me too." I replied, forcing a smile.

"I can go kick his ass if you want me to. Just say the word." Dwight said making me laugh.

"No really it's fine. But thank you."

He just smiled at me but I could tell they were both feeling bad. I was about to change the subject when Megan, out of all people, walked to our table and sat next to me. What? After she said good morning to Sherry and Dwight she turned her attention to me.

"Hey. I see you found the kitchen huh? How do you like your breakfast?" she asked me. And I tensed. So did Sherry. And so did Negan. His eyes were focused on the two of us.

"Yeah. It's pretty good." I replied. Oh no. Not again. Why was she so nice all the time?

"You've met Sherry and Dwight too."

"Um, actually-" I was cut off by Dwight's laughter. Oh this was going to be bad.

"Met? What? No, Megan. Sherry and I know Liz since kindergarden." that must have shocked. Sherry kicking Dwight under the table but he didn't seem to notice.

"Really? You didn't mention that when we met this morning. I would have helped you to their room if I knew."

"It must have slipped my mind." I took and glance at Negan and his eyes have almost popped out of his head. He was really regretting not sitting with us just about now.

"We're not the only ones we know." Dwight said. Dwight you stupid shit.

"Really who else do you know here?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. Who else do I know Dwight?"

"Well you remember Dr. Ducky right? He's the doctor here."

"You're serious? He is? Why the hell didn't you tell me that? We've been talking about unimportant shit for about an hour." I believe I almost screamed because a few people turned turned to look at us and I felt my face turning red. I looked at Negan who was watching this whole thing and he laughed to himself at my actions. Which only made me look more like and tomato. Asshole.

"Well not unimportant. We've been talking about the big bad boss himself." he joked. Okay he was starting to really piss me off now.

"You were talking about Negan? Are you still mad at him for bringing you here?" she questioned.

"As a matter of fact I am. Actually I'm mad at him for lots of reasons. But let's n-"

"I told you, you have to talk with him. Work this shit out. It's only going to be frustrating for all of us." Was Dwight really stupid?

"She can't just go and talk to him if he doesn't ask for her. You know how he is, Dwight."

"Of course she can. If anyone can just walk up to him and talk to him whenever they feel like it, then that's Lizzie." Sherry started kicking him again but he wasn't getting it this time either.

"Dwight stop." She told him. Well basically yelled at him.

"What?" he asked confused. Poor Dwight.

Negan was still watching and even though he was far from us, he totally knew what was going on. He got up and started walking towards us. Oh now you want to talk?

"What do you mean by that Dwight?" she sounded offended and possessive towards Negan. I felt my blood rise to my head. Sherry was right I was jealous. A whole lot of jealous.

"I thought the two of you met already. Didn't you introduce yourselves?" he asked.

"Yes we did but I don't see where Negan fits into this." she was irritated. I could tell.

"Well, let me introduce you then. Liz this is Megan. Megan this is Liz. Negan's real wife. The one that was dead? Apparently not so dead. She was with the Alexandria group this whole time. And we found her last night." Was he on drugs or something? Sherry looked at him in disbelief. And Megan gave me a stare that a jealous, possessive girlfriend would.

"You and Negan? You've been married?" she was utterly shocked.

"Well technically, still are." that was Negan replying for me. I forgot he was heading our way. We all turned to look at him and the amused look left my face when I saw his irritated one. Oh for fuck's shake not this again. He motioned for me to follow me. Great. That is just great.


	5. Chapter 5

He motioned for me to stand up and follow him but I hesitated. I wasn't about to have another fight with him. We haven't even been together again for more than 24 hours. Could he give me a break? Does he enjoy making me feel like shit? Apparently, he is. Because that's all he has been doing these past hours. Sherry gave me a reassuring look, like everything was going to be alright. I wish I could believe that. Dwight on the other hand had guilt written all over him. Poor Dwight. I really did feel sorry for him.

I looked back at Negan. If I didn't know him like the back of my hand, I'd be scared. But I wasn't. He could yell at me all he wanted and hurt me all he wanted but he never scared me. In the meantime, Megan was looking at him demanding explanations. Okay then.

"Are you waiting for a special invitation? Get the fuck up and follow me." He gritted through his teeth.

"I don't see why that is necessary. We can talk here." I _politely_ replied.

"Really? You want to do this here?" he sounded surprised.

"Sure. Why not?" I challenged him.

"Well, I don't fucking want to." he said moving closer to me and grabbed my arm a little too tight. "So get the fuck up and fucking follow me. You wouldn't want me to start yelling in front of everyone now do you?" he whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I hate him.

"Fine." I simply said while standing up.

"Negan what the hell is going on?" _Megan_ asked. Oh, what the fuck does she want?

"Don't worry doll. I'll explain everything later." he replied to her. That was enough start that fire inside of me again. Even in front of me he would talk to her like this was normal. He called her "doll" and I felt my heart breaking a little. I felt tears dwelling up in my eyes but I wasn't going to cry again. I refuse to be the weak girl he wants me to be.

I stormed out of the kitchen area not even knowing where I was going. I just had to get away from them. Away from _him._ This would only make him more mad at this point, but I honestly did not care. All he ever seemed to do lately was get mad.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going, Liz? Slow the fuck down." he said but not as loud this time. _You don't want your people to hear how much of an asshole you can be?_ I did not slow down though. Instead I fastened my pace. But I forgot that he was taller and faster. Soon enough he caught up to me and grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him.

"I asked you to stop. Why the hell can't you do that one simple thing?" he almost whispered this time.

"What is wrong with you? One minute you're yelling at me to get the fuck up so we can talk. And the next I can barely hear your voice. I'm not in the mood for playing games. What do you want?" I asked feeling more frustrated than ever.

"I want us to talk. There are a lot we need to discuss. You know that." he was talking to his normal voice again. This was really confusing.

"Alright. So talk. Let's just get it over with." Seriously though.

"Obviously not here. Someone might walk by any minute. Let's go to your room." he offered but it did not feel like I had a say in this.

"Whatever." I said turning around and walking again. I started walking faster than him again, but not as fast as before. At first I was really certain of where I was going. After a couple of minutes, it didn't feel like that anymore. Yeah, I was lost. I stopped looking around, while trying my best not to look like an idiot.

"Are you lost, sweetheart?" he chuckled. Oh so now I'm sweetheart again, huh?

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You took a wrong turn about five minutes ago." he was having the time of his life.

"Well if you knew that, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it's really fun to watch you struggle. If I remember correctly you're not really good with directions. You got us lost millions of times, and don't even try to deny that." I rolled my eyes at his response. He was right though.

"Come on, it's this way." he walked ahead of me.

I had a feeling that this conversation was only going to make things worse. Could they get any worse than this though? I looked down at my hands and stared at my wedding ring. It was still untouched after everything I've been through. He wasn't wearing his. I noticed now that he was in front of me. So he put away every single piece that reminded him of me? Was I such a bad memory? Something he wanted to store in a box and hide it under the bed? Not talk or even think about it? I don't think I could ever do that. I always thought of him. I did not talk to anyone about him, but I thought of him. And he was not even wearing his wedding ring.

We spent ten years together. Ten years of my life I spent with this man. When I met him I was 20 years old and he was 28. The age gap was always the main problem. Not for us, but for everyone around us except friends and some family. His parents liked me from day one. I still remember how happy his mother looked when she met me. I was so nervous, thinking that they would hate me, but they actually loved me and took me in really fast. My dad on the other hand, never liked him. He never tried to hide it either. The age difference always bothered him. After we got married he "accepted" it, but Negan and I both knew that his opinion would never change.

And now here we were. Him yelling at me every chance he had. Having multiple wives and for what? Was he trying to feel the void? I wish I was that important. No one here even knew that he was married. _Why are you kidding yourself Liz?_ _He just does not care anymore. He was six or seven girls –according to Dwight- ready to fulfil all his sexual needs. He even had a_ _ **favourite.**_ _Sweet Megan._ Maybe he was falling in love with her. Should I ask him about Megan? My brain was telling me BAD IDEA loud and clear. He'll get pissed at you again. But my heart and the inner jealous little bitch I was, when it came to him, were screaming HELL YEAH.

"Here we are." he said scaring me. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I forgot he was here.

"Well are you going to open the door or you want us to talk here in the hallway? he ironically asked.

"Right." I replied and went ahead to unlock the door. I opened it and we both got inside. He looked around curiously.

"I believe this room is the smallest in the entire compound. Who gave you this fucking room?"

"I am not sure. Dwight brought me here yesterday."

"I'll tell him to take you somewhere else. This place is awfully small." he really wasn't fond of this room.

"Well, I like it so you don't have to do that. It's fine. Really. Are we going to be discussing my bedroom?" I was feeling awkward again.

"No, we won't. You're right. Listen I don't like it when I have to yell at you. So are you going to listen to what I have to say, without interrupting me, and then answer?" he wasn't playful anymore like before in the hallway. He was dead serious right now. I sat on my bed and gestured for him to take a seat as well. He looked a bit hesitant at first, but he took the seat. Not as close to me as I wanted him too though.

"What happened to you? How did you make it out?" he was concerned.

"It wasn't easy. And for a moment there I didn't think that I would. I found an opening. It happened in seconds. A few seconds is all it took and I was out. I turned around looking and waiting for you, but you never showed. When the walkers caught sight of me I just ran. I was running for so long. Hours, maybe. I was wandering around for a long time. Later, when Glenn found me and took me back to his camp, he said I was passed out for almost a week. I don't remember much. We just kept going after that, I guess."

"Why didn't you come back? Why didn't you try to look for Dwight and Sherry? All this would have been avoided."

"Maybe. I don't know why I didn't. I wanted to put distance between me and that place. I thought you were dead." thinking back to it, maybe I should have looked for them.

"Hell yeah, things would have been different."

"Don't get me wrong, I would want nothing more than to turn back time. But I don't regret the way things turned out. The people I've met. The experiences I've had. Sure there has been some bad ones. A lot actually. But still."

"I know what you mean. I feel the same way. You are different. You look stronger. I can not even imagine what it is that you had to go through. It angers me that I wasn't there to protect you from it." his words warmed my heart. This is the man I knew and loved.

"It's okay. Everything is over now. It's not like you haven't changed either. The way you spoke last night was just.."

"The things I said, I meant them. And if you weren't there yesterday, one of your friends would have been dead today. This is who I am now. I am the leader of this place. And in order to keep it safe, I had to do things that you would never like me doing. I had to make sacrifices." I don't think I want to know everything.

"I understand and I am not judging you. But I am here now. Things can be different."

"Liz, I am not sure you understand. Everyone here sees me as a man who does not prioritize his emotions. They are scared of the things that I have to do, in order to keep this place standing. Sometimes, they don't even want to know what it is that I do. And that can't change now."

"What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean, is that you coming here can't and will not change anything. Everything is going to go as planned. I wanted you to come here because you would be safe under my watch. I am not going to lose you again. That is the only thing that is going to change. No one can know who you truly are."

"What? What the fuck are you talking about? Am I supposed to just sit here and pretend that I don't know you?"

"Yes. That is what you are going to do."

"No. I am not doing that. Forget it." He started getting mad again, but so was I.

"This isn't a debate Liz. You don't have a choice. You are going to do as I say, because this is the only way that everything is going to work out."

"Work out for who? For you? Because it sure as hell isn't helping my case. What are you ashamed of me or something? You don't want me to ruin your _image?_ Or you just want to be able to fuck all of those bitches of yours like nothing is wrong with that? Because it is."

"What? How do you know about all of that?" he looked at me in disbelief. It looked like he never wanted me to figure it out. Well too late for that.

"Dwight told me. And don't you even dare to get mad at him. I was going to find out sooner or later. So it's true then? You actually do that?" I wish he'd tell me that it was all a joke coming from Dwight. But I knew it wasn't. And he didn't deny it either.

"Well Dwight should really keep his mouth shut when it comes to things that aren't his business. It doesn't and it shouldn't concern you Liz. What I do and what I don't do is my fucking business."

"Are you serious? I am your wife in case you forgot. Of course it's my business. How could you do that?" I was the one screaming at him right now.

"Liz I think I made myself clear. No one is to know about this. You _are_ not my wife. You are nothing. As long as everyone is concerned you are just a woman that I took yesterday from Alexandria. You offered yourself so that I would spare your friend's life and that's it."

 _You are nothing. You are not my wife. You are nothing._ That is all I could hear. His words, again and again. He wanted to cut me out of his life entirely.

"You just want to throw me aside and pretend that we never happened? Am I bad for you, is that it?" I wanted to cry but I wasn't going to let him see me like that. Not after all this.

"Listen to me, it doesn't matter what I want or believe. This is the right thing to do for the both of us. You'll see it in time. All I am asking you is this. And it's very simple."

"How is this simple? You want me to throw my life away. To pretend that I don't know you. You actually want me to sit back and let you do this? Do you have any idea how I felt when Dwight told me about _them?_ No, I guess you don't. And you don't care. I am sorry. It's my fault for thinking that with me, you would have been the same. Alright. I'll do it. I'll pretend I don't know you. That I just met _Negan_ yesterday and not ten years ago at Dwight's stupid party. That _we_ are nothing." I didn't even realise that I was shouting and hitting him at the same time. He grabbed my hands and held them in place.

"Liz don't make this harder than it already is. Please." He looked sad but I didn't believe him. I was never going to believe him again.

"No, Negan. It's not hard for you. You've proven that. I know that now. When you exit this room you are going to go back to your reality, not even realising what you just did and how much of an impact your words can have on someone. Leave now. I don't even want to look at your face."

He let go of my hands and stared at me. The look on his face looked like regret but it was too late now. I would never forgive him for this. I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like when I thought he died. But no, this was by far the worse. I watched him slowly walk to the door with his head down. He walked out closing the door behind him, not even looking back at me. I lied down on my bed and all I did was cry. Darkness was the last thing I was and felt. Could it get any worse than this?


	6. Chapter 6

_You are nothing._ Those three little words were playing in my head again and again. How could I stop this? I didn't want to hear his voice. _You are nothing._ I felt the already small room, closing in on me. I must have been crying because my vision was getting blurry. Even though I knew it is impossible, I never wanted to see him again. I just wanted to stay inside for as long as I could. He won. _You are nothing._ I wanted to be strong but I couldn't. How was I supposed to act as if we were complete strangers? As if the last ten years of my life never happened. I couldn't believe this. Like _we_ never happened. I wish I was back home. Back to Alexandria, where life was simple. Sure, we had our fair share of problems, but I never had to worry about something like this. It was better when I thought he was dead.

"Liz? Are you inside?" that was Dwight. I got up from the bed and debating on whether I was going to open the door. "Liz come on. I know you're in there. Open the door."

"Please go away, Dwight. I don't want to talk right now." was all I said.

"No. Listen I don't know what happened between the two of you but I am not here about that. I have to tell you something."

"So just say it."

"Will you please open the door? I am shouting like a mad man. People are looking at me funny. I'll explain everything, I promise." Fine. I checked myself in the small mirror. I looked awful. My eyes were teary and they shared the same red colour with my cheeks. I tried to hide it as good as I could and then I opened the door for him. He looked at me worried but he wasn't going to ask anything now. He walked inside and I closed the door behind him.

"Negan told me to get you a bigger room."

"I thought you said you didn't know what happened between the two of us."

"I don't. That's all he said. Alright, enough about that. I just wanted to let you know that we will be going to Hilltop today. Your friend is there. The sick one? With her husband. I thought maybe you wanted to see how she's doing." My heart dropped at the mention of Maggie. I had forgotten about her. I hope everything worked out good for the two of them.

"Of course, I want to see her. I would love to go. But I am not sure he is going to let me."

"First of all, this is your job from now on. You are on my team. Secondly, I am in charge of this run but, he won't be coming with us anyway. And it will be a chance for you to get out of here for a while. What do you think? If you want to come with we need to leave right now. That is why I was banging on the door like an idiot."

"That's alright. I am in. Let's go."

We walked out of the room and I followed him. I really needed to get the hang of this place. It was so complicated. That's when all kinds of negative thoughts came into my mind. What if something went wrong with Maggie? What if they didn't get there in time? What if the baby didn't make it? I had to get there.

We reached outside and there were three cars parked out front. There were two men that I recognised from yesterday but I didn't know the other four. There was also a woman with them. We walked closer and I was about to enter one of the cars when he spoke.

"What the hell is she doing here Dwight? This isn't a road trip." I looked over at Dwight and I gave him a - _I thought he wasn't coming with us Dwight –_ look. "So did I." he whispered.

"She is on my team so I don't see why there is a problem." Dwight replied to him. Negan looked like he had forgotten about that because he didn't say anything. Instead, he got into his car. Fuck you, asshole.

"See? I told you it would be alright. Now come on, get in." he said motioning to the same car Negan was in.

"No thank you. Can I ride with someone else?"

"What the hell happened between you two? No, you can't. Don't worry I will be there too." he offered me the passenger's seat but I chose to sit in the back. So much for not seeing him for a while. Dwight sat next to Negan and that girl came and sat next to me. Negan started the car and drove off. She smiled at me.

"Hi I'm Olivia. You're the girl they brought back yesterday, right?" Come on, not again. What if she was one of his _wives_ too?

"Yep. That's me. I'm Liz."

"Can I ask you a question?" Well, I have a feeling that she is going to ask anyway.

"Why not?"

"Is it true that you have been out there for so long?" Wow, okay. I wasn't expecting this kind of question. That must have caught Negan's interest because he was looking at me through the rear-view mirror and I did my best trying to ignore him. I could tell he was interested in what my answer would be though.

"Yes. It's true. We had some places but they didn't last long. We were always on the run I guess."

"It must have been so difficult. I have only been out there on my own for a small period of time so I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like."

"Well, I wasn't completely on my own. There was always someone with me."

"You told me yesterday that after that prison, you lived in, was destroyed you were all separated." Dwight had to talk _of course._ Why do I tell him anything in the first place?

"You lived in a prison?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah. We did. And yes Dwight we did get separated after that. But we all found each other, one way or another."

"That must have been really hard."

"Yes, it was. But I wasn't alone so it wasn't that hard."

"Who were you with?" Dwight questioned.

"I was with Daryl." I said wanting to trigger a reaction out of Negan. And I did. He hands squeezed the steering wheel making his knuckles turn somewhat white.

"Oh. Daryl." Dwight simply replied.

"Who you shot by the way. And if I remember correctly you took his bike and his crossbow." I gave Dwight a disapproving look and he seemed embarrassed.

"About that. I am sorry. I wouldn't have shot him if I knew he was your friend."

"He still is my _friend_ Dwight. And don't apologise to me. You should apologise to him. And it would also be wise to give him back his stuff."

"Well, next time I see him I will. I swear." he said.

"You better." I smirked at him.

"Are you married?" Olivia asked me. Making Negan turn his head and look at me. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I just couldn't help but notice the wedding ring on your finger." Fuck. I forgot about the ring. I should have taken it off. I looked at the rear-view mirror once more and Negan gave a look as if I was supposed carefully answer the question. Is that what he wanted? Okay then. Here goes.

"I used to be. He died the first few days of the outbreak." I answered. I looked at him giving him a – _I hope you're happy now –_ look.

"I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's totally fine Olivia. Don't worry about it. He was an asshole anyway." I cut her off. He was angry once again but I didn't give a shit this time.

"What are you talking about?" Dwight asked me confused. I totally forgot about him, shit.

"I think I mentioned it yesterday night Dwight. You probably just forgot."

"Right, yeah." He said more confused.

The trip to Hilltop was quiet after that. Negan occasionally gave me angered looks, but I ignored him. I found Olivia to be pretty nice actually. In comparison to _Megan_ anyway. But I knew that if she was indeed one of Negan's wives, we could never really get along. She was never going to find out who I really was, but that doesn't change anything. We finally got to Hilltop and I saw two men guarding the gates. They immediately opened the doors and let us in. We got inside and I looked around for Maggie, but I couldn't find her. I saw Glenn instead and I jumped out of the car and ran to him.

"Liz." He was really surprised to see me. I too never thought I'd see them again. He hugged me tightly. I was so happy he was alright. I hugged him back. "We were so worried about you. Are you alright?"

"I am okay. But I am doing great now that I know you are alright." he smiled at me. I missed this. I missed them so much. "How is Maggie? Is the baby okay?"

"Yes. Everything is fine. The doctor managed to save both her and the baby. Do you want to see her? All she talks about is you."

"I would love to see her. Please take me to her." He smiled, turning around leading me inside the big house. I remember it from last time we've been here. Although the circumstances were a little different this time.

"Hold the fuck up. Where do you think you're going?" I heard Negan basically scream. Glenn and I both turned and he looked worried.

"I am going inside to check on my friend. You know, the one who thankfully didn't lose her child or her life because of you. Remember her?" I challenged him. What is his problem? He was the one who wanted me to pretend that I didn't know him.

"You know, next time you'll feel like wandering off to wherever the fuck it is you're going, ask for permission first. Got that?"

"Yes, Sir. May I be excused now?" I know I stroked a nerve. After we walked away from them and we were finally inside Glenn gave me a strange look.

"I thought you said he is your husband."

"He is."

"Then why does he speak to you this way? Is he nuts or something?"

"Probably. But it is a little complicated Glenn. I can't talk about it. Not yet anyway." I really did not want to talk about this.

"Listen, I just want to know if you're okay with them. They didn't try to hurt you, did they?" he was worried.

"Yes, don't worry. Everything is fine. Can you take me see Maggie now?"

"Sure. Come on." he said while leading me to her room. "I have to tell you, though. She is healthy. Both she and the baby are going to be just fine. But she is very weak. And she needs rest, so if you can keep this visit short, I would be grateful."

"Absolutely Glenn. I just want to see that she's okay and let her know that I am fine too. She has a lot to worry about. I shouldn't be one of those things."

"Thank you, Liz. Alright, here goes." He said knocking on the door softly. I heard a faint come in and Glenn opened the door. The minute I walked in I spotted her on the bed. She was still pale but she certainly looked better. Her face immediately light up when she saw me.

"Liz. What are you doing here? I never thought I'd see you this soon. Come here." She tried to stand up to hug me but I stopped her.

"No please, you don't have to." I sat next to her on the bed and hugged her like that. "Are you okay?" I whispered to her. I know Glenn said she was okay, but I had to hear it from her.

"I am now that you're here." she whispered back. I had to speak to her. Alone. I had to tell her about Negan.

"Glenn, can you please leave us? We have a lot to talk about." she asked him. I loved this about her. She always knew when I wanted to talk to her alone.

"Do I have to? We only came here yesterday. What if something goes wrong? What if you need something? What if-"

"Glenn." she said with a stern voice but still with a smile on her face. "I am going to be just fine. I won't be alone. Liz will be here and if I need something I'll call you okay? I promise. You can stay right outside if that makes you feel any better." she told him with a soft voice this time.

"Deal." he said coming closer and kissing her head. He walked out right after.

"So," she said. "How are you doing?"

"Me? I am fine. What about you? What did the doctor say? How's the baby?"

"Everything is fine Liz. I don't remember much from last night. Everything is a blur, but when we got here it wasn't good. The doctor said that if we have gotten here half an hour later, I would have had a miscarriage." That last sentence angered me. I wanted to walk outside and punch him in the face. If I hadn't been there last night, he would have killed one of them and Maggie would have had a miscarriage. I can't believe this.

"Are you kidding me? I can't believe that because of him you would have lost your baby."

"Liz don't do this. Because you were there last night he didn't kill any of us. We are all in one piece. That's all because of you. I will get to meet my baby because of you. So stop doing this. But that is not why I wanted to talk to you, Liz. How are you doing? You said yesterday that he is your husband. Is it true? I thought he was dead."

"Yeah. So did I. There was no way he would have made it out of there alive, but he did. What can I tell you, Maggie? He is different. He has changed. A lot. More than I think I can handle. I get that the circumstances made him this way, but it is too much Maggie. He is a lot."

"Liz I am sorry to say this. But last night he really scared me. The way he talked. The things he said. Did you look at Rick? It was the only time that Rick was caught so out of guard that he couldn't even reply. This man is dangerous." _No, he isn't._

"It's really complicated Maggie. I don't have a way to explain this. I know he is dangerous but we would never hurt me. I am not scared of him like that. I am actually heartbroken. You have no idea the things he said to me this morning."

I couldn't begin to remember all of those things again but I had to. So I told her everything. From the weird _multiple wife_ issue, to meeting Megan in the showers, to everything he told me this morning. I also told her about reuniting with Sherry and Dwight, but was the only happy thing that had happened to me this past day. She didn't consider it a happy thing, though since Dwight was the one who killed Denise and shot Daryl. She didn't say anything to make me feel bad, though.

"Liz that is a whole lot of shit, but I think I get it." _What? Is she going to defend him now? A few minutes ago, she called him dangerous._

"Maggie, what are you talking about? Enlighten me please, because I sure as hell don't get it."

"Think about it for a minute, Liz. He is very powerful, which means that he has a lot of enemies. If everyone found out that he has an actual wife. A person that he cares about and loves, his enemies would have a target. Even though he sounds like a total asshole and I still believe he is really dangerous, I get it. I believe he wants to protect you."

I really did not think about this. It would make a lot of sense. But why did he talk to me this way? He could have explained it. He could have told me the truth. But he chose to hurt me so that it would be more believable? No. He might have had his reasons, but he handled it wrong. This doesn't change anything.

"Maybe, Maggie. I don't know. It doesn't change the fact that I am mad at him. You have no idea how he spoke. The things he said to me. He has never talked to me this way before. If he doesn't apologise, I am not planning on forgiving him. Anyway, I think that if I stay here for a few more minutes Glenn will kill me." I said making her laugh.

"Alright go. I don't want to cause you any trouble with him either. When will I see you again?"

"I really don't know Maggie. I'll try to make sure that it will be soon enough." I answered her.

"I'll hold you to it, then. Please take care of yourself. And think about what I told you. He might have been raw about the way he handled it, but I believe his intentions were good. It's up to you, but give it a chance, yeah?"

"Fine. I will. Now you make sure that you keep that baby safe and don't worry about me. I'll be alright."

"Of course, Liz." I hugged her one last time thinking about when would I see her again. I hope it would be soon enough. I kissed her head and walked outside. Glenn was indeed outside. He is cute.

"So you girls are finally done? Took you long enough." He said and I pushed him playfully.

"Yeah, we're done. Thank you for leaving us alone. I needed this."

"Yeah. No problem. I tend to overreact."

"It's okay. I need to go now, I think that-"

"How much longer do you need princess? Sure we can wait all day for you to finish your little chats, no problem. Are you fucking done?" that was Negan of course.

"I am done. Will you stop being a jackass for a few minutes?" I asked and he was surprised I answered him.

"So let's fucking go." I turned to Glenn and hugged him tightly. I knew he didn't like the way Negan talked to me but he wouldn't say anything. "I'll try to come again soon. I promise. Take care of her. And yourself too." I whispered to him and he nodded. He glanced at Negan once before entering Maggie's room, leaving us alone. He started walking towards me. He got closer than he did this morning making me nervous. Really nervous.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" he asked "Are you trying to get a reaction out of me? I thought I was pretty clear this morning, wasn't I? I basically asked you to be good and don't cause any trouble. And what have you been doing ever since? Exactly that. I have to say I am disappointed." I didn't know if I should focus on his words or on the fact that he was only inches away from me.

"You asked me not to say to anyone that we're married. You said nothing about going on run with Dwight, since I am on his team, and wanting to talk to my friends. I didn't know that was also not allowed." I felt my heart beating faster than ever. He came closer if it was even possible. He placed his hand on my waist pulling me to him. It was the first time I've felt him in almost two years and it felt unbelievably good to be so close to him again.

"What are you doing to me, Lizzie? You're making me lose my mind again. Exactly like the old times, huh? You better watch it, though, because I am not the way you remember me to be. You wouldn't want to cause any more trouble now, do you?" After he said that he lowered his face to my neck. He kissed me roughly and all I could do was let my head fall back. He sucked so hard that I was sure it would leave a hickey. All of a sudden he stopped and looked at me with a smirk on his face. He looked so satisfied causing me this kind of distress. He turned around and walked off. I was stunned and stood still. I don't think I could move. What did just happen? Why didn't I stop him? Why did it feel so good?

"Are you coming?" he asked bringing me back to reality. I sure as hell am.


	7. Chapter 7

The ride back to the Sanctuary was quiet. Nobody seemed willing to chat. I wasn't complaining, though. It was better this way. I never liked it when people asked me about my past. I might have wanted to annoy Negan before, but normally I don't like it at all. I still couldn't comprehend what was his problem. What happened back at the house? Why did he do that? I was so confused by his sudden change of behavior. Someone could have seen us. His plan would have been ruined. I could feel his eyes on me. He had a stupid, satisfied smirk on his face. I used to believe that I was the only person who knew him, who could understand him. Apparently, I was wrong. I tried to concentrate on looking out of the window. But it was impossible. His eyes were all over me. I decided that I wasn't going to let him win this one. I closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep. It took us about fifteen more minutes till we got back. I looked around and we were indeed here. As we got out of the car, Negan and Dwight talked about something and Negan took off after giving me one last stare. Truth be told, all I wanted to do was go back to my room. I didn't feel like talking to any of them, not even Dwight. But Olivia had other plans.

"Liz, wait," Olivia said running after me. She was nice and all, but I really just wanted to be alone. "Wait. I want to talk to you about something."

"Olivia, I am really sorry. But I feel a bit tired. I want to go back to my room if that's okay. We can talk later?" I tried to make it obvious that I just wasn't up for a chat but she wasn't getting it.

"It will only take a couple of minutes, don't worry. I know you're probably not comfortable talking about it in front of other people. And trust me, in there" she said pointing towards the Sanctuary "the walls have ears. So I wanted to talk to you outside."

"Listen, if this is about my husband being dead and how it's all going to be okay and that I will get over it, you don't have to. I am just fine. He died, it's sad. But everything is good. Don't worry." I said turning around and walking away from her.

"I know that Negan is your husband." She said and for a moment I thought I was crazy. I wish I was. How did she know this? Talking about the walls having ears, huh?

"What?"

"Let's not do this thing where you pretend you have no idea what I am talking about. I didn't eavesdrop on your conversation with anyone. Megan told me. I was surprised at first but what I don't understand is why you lied in the car. You said your husband is dead." she was obviously waiting for an answer.

"This really is none of your business. And Megan shouldn't be walking around talking about this either."

"I know. I told her that. As you can understand she is upset. She is also very jealous. She used to be his favourite. You do know about this whole-"

"Wife thing? Yes, I do. Anything else?"

"You don't need to be this way. I don't really like her either. She is so full of herself, just because Negan _likes_ her. Whatever the fuck that means. I am not one of them, in case you were wondering. I refused from the beginning. She likes her spot. She doesn't have to do anything to earn her keep, except open her legs for him. He was in her room last night. He spent the night. What I don't get is why you lied. Why did you say that he's dead? Wasn't he supposed to kick them out or whatever since you're back?"

"He was supposed to. But he didn't. Actually, it seems like he wants nothing to do with me. He asked me to pretend like we don't know each other. That I am no more than a girl he picked up yesterday night just to terrorize some group. I am tired of fighting him so I am just going to do what he asked. I thought he would have told her not to tell anyone."

"Maybe he told her later. She told me this morning after breakfast."

"Does anyone else know?"

"I don't think so. Unless she talked to someone else after I left. Why would he ask you that?"

"If I knew, a lot of problems would have been solved. But there are a lot of things I don't know and I don't understand. I don't know why he does anything. I'm pretty sure he doesn't either. He has changed. A lot. He is not the man I knew. And I don't know why we're having this conversation. It's pointless."

"Liz I am actually on your side. I never approved of this whole wife situation he had going on. Even more now that you're back. Some of the girls, especially Megan like it. They don't have to do anything. They are not in danger. The other men don't mess with them. I don't know him, or you to be honest. But you don't deserve to feel this way."

"I appreciate your concern, Olivia. But this is nothing that I can't handle. I've had to deal with worse than him, so don't worry. If he wants to be this way, so let him be this way."

"I guess you can handle yourself after all."

"Yes, I can. He was always an asshole. It's not new to me."

"Maybe, but I can tell you still love him."

I wasn't going to answer that. I still had to figure that out for myself. I forced a smile at her and walked away. So he spent the night with her, huh? He probably fucked her. And he came to me this morning telling me all this shit. Is this why he's doing it? Is he in love with her? Then what the fuck does he want from me? He could have just told me that when I got here. And then this morning at Hilltop? What was that? He held me so close to him. It was the closest we've ever been since I got here. And it felt really good. I wanted more. More of him. But my anger was stronger than any other emotion I had towards him.

"Liz?" I turned around and I saw Daryl. I couldn't believe it.

"Daryl? What are you doing here?" Oh no. What if he snuck in? If someone found out... "Daryl if Negan finds out you're here you have no idea what he'll do."

"Relax, Liz. It's okay. He asked us to come here today. After what happened last night, they drove Glenn and Maggie to Hilltop and they took us back to Alexandria. What happened to you? Are you alright? Did that son of a bitch hurt you?"

"No Daryl, he didn't. I told you yesterday. He wasn't going to hurt me."

"And why is that?"

"Because I told you yesterday, Daryl. He's my husband."

"Some awesome husband you got there, Liz. He said we can't talk about you in there. Don't even want people to know who you are."

"It doesn't matter Daryl. Let's not talk about that. How are you? Your arm?" I asked him trying to change the subject. He noticed and gave me a weird look but didn't say something.

"It's fine. The doctor at Hilltop took the bullet out and stitched me up. I'll be fine."

"I'm glad. And what about everyone else? How's Rick? He looked pretty shaken up yesterday."

"He is. You'll see him. He wants to make sure you're okay. Michonne and Abraham are here too."

"I want to see them too."

He nodded and I just looked at him. He looked so stressed. I haven't seen him like this ever since the prison. I went ahead and hugged him. I held him so tight. I missed him. I missed them all. He put his arms around me hugging me back. I let my head rest in the crook of his neck and I felt him kiss the top of my head. I did miss him so much. We used to live in the same house back in Alexandria. It was all so different now. I felt myself relax in his arms and he must have felt it too because he squeezed me a little.

"Getting cozy now are we?" I turned around and saw Negan. He was looking at us and he had that angry look on his face. The one that I was so used at lately. I pulled away from Daryl, immediately regretting it when I saw his face. He looked betrayed.

"What? Am I interrupting this sweet reunion of yours? Do you need some extra time?"

"No, Negan, it's fine. You didn't tell me they would be coming here today."

"I don't remember the part where I was supposed to inform you about my every move doll."

"You don't have to talk to her like that." Daryl said and Negan raised his eyebrows letting out a laugh.

"Oh, is that so? What are you going to do about it, boy?" Negan said challenging Daryl. Their chests were almost touching.

"Hey stop it. That's enough." I said pushing him away from Daryl.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. Whatever you say." he said holding my gaze for a few seconds before turning his attention back to Daryl. "Why don't you go back to the other fuckers, huh?" he asked him.

"Will you be alright, Liz?" he asked me obviously worried.

"Yes, she will be just fine asshole. Why don't you mind your damn business?"

Daryl gave Negan a suspicious look and then looked back at me.

"I'll be okay Daryl, don't worry. Just go." He was a bit hesitant but he left anyway. I watched him go and turned my attention back to Negan.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You didn't have to treat him this way. And besides, he wasn't doing anything. He only wanted to make sure I was alright."

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. He doesn't have to check up on you. Why would these people think that I would ever hurt you?"

"Because you haven't exactly made the best impression. You terrorized them, almost killed one of them and you've threatened to make their lives a living hell if they don't give you what you want in return. Isn't that enough for you? We've already been through this Negan and it didn't go well last time if you remember."

"Right. So I am not even going to bother answering. One question, though."

"What?"

"Are you fucking him?" Was I hearing him right?

"You're unbelievable. Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Answer the fucking question, Liz."

"So what if I am?" He looked taken aback from my response. "Why, would you care if I am? You have made it crystal clear that you don't give a shit about what I do or what I don't do, so why do you care?"

"I don't. I just wanted to see if you'd go that low. And apparently, you would." he said trying to cover up his reaction but it wasn't working. Not this time.

"If I would go that low? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're the one who has an entire harem of women, who are just sitting around, doing nothing, except waiting to get fucked. That's you. And you can't even control them. Your precious little plan isn't working after all. Olivia told me she knows all about me, today. And take a guess who told her." I was almost screaming at him but I didn't care one bit.

"Megan told Olivia about this?" he asked and he was honestly surprised.

"Yes she did." I answered him.

"I told her this morning that she wasn't supposed to tell anyone." he answered mostly to himself.

"Yeah well she did. You're not as scary as you think you are, huh?" I asked him. I was trying to annoy him and it was working.

"Watch it. Well if Olivia doesn't feel like revealing stuff to anyone else, no one is going to find out."

"Whatever. I don't care. You're the one who wanted to keep this a secret anyway." I said motioning between the two of us.

"What would have me do? Announce to everyone that my wife, who I thought had tragically died when shit hit the fan, is actually alive? To give up my place here and run off to the sunset with you? These things don't happen anymore. In order to stay alive you have to be tough and you have to make sacrifices."

"When did I ever ask you for any of these? When did I ask you to abandon everything to be with me? Don't you think I know what it takes to make it in the world? Do you have any idea what I've been through? No. You don't. And do you know why? Because you never asked. It's always been about you. About what you went through. About how much you have changed. But I am not the same either. If you knew the things that I did, and the things that others have done to me, you'd feel repulsed." My voice was unstable and I was about to start crying. Why was I crying so much lately? I hate this. It makes me look and feel weak.

"Everyone has been through a lot. I've seen things happen to other people without being able to prevent them from happening. And that is why you're here. You're here so that none of that shit happens again. No one will just you while I am here." I wanted to punch him. Is he serious? Why is always changing his attitude? The minute I start to get mad at him and I have a reason to yell at him, he bring this shit up.

"You really think by keeping me here as a hostage and not even recognizing me for who I really am to you, you're keeping me safe?"

"I do and I am. Now, if you don't want to understand this there's nothing I can do." he said turning around.

Once again he walked away from a conversation. He left me there in the middle of the hallway. I wasn't allowed inside when he talked to Rick and Daryl. Dwight was nowhere to be found so he couldn't inform me about what was going on either. I walked back to my room and locked myself inside. I had no idea what was going to happen. Did he want more from them? They would never be able to give him more. We were already running low on supplies. But Negan wouldn't give I damn. He would starve them if that meant that he would get what he wanted. How did we come to this? All I wanted to do was confront him about these others girls. To ask him to give them up for me, but I did not have the guts to do such thing. I was lost in my thought until I heard a knock on my door. I got up to open it and there stood Rick. I hugged him immediately.

"Rick, are you okay? What happened?" I whispered in his ear.

"We're all fine, Liz. Don't worry." he whispered back, letting go of me. I looked behind him and one of Negan's men was watching us. I'm surprised it wasn't Negan himself. He couldn't listen to what we were saying though. He was too far.

"Why are you here? What did he want from you?" I was so concerned.

"Don't worry Liz. It's nothing we can't handle. Daryl told me you were alright but I wanted to see for myself. Are you?"

"Yes, I am. Everything is good."

"Really? So why were you screaming at each other in that hallway?"

"You heard that?"

"Daryl told us. He didn't let us inside. Daryl just sneaked in. I can't believe he is your husband. Why would you ever marry a man like him Liz?"

"He wasn't like that Rick. When we were together, before this whole apocalypse thing. He was so much different. I know that he has changed. He has been through a lot. We all have. I am not defending him and I am certainly not looking for excuses. But I can't help but think that the man I knew is still in there somewhere."

"Don't get your hopes up too high, Liz. He is cruel and he's dangerous. And we will fight back. We will need some time but we are not going to let him do this. We have dealt with worse than him." I suddenly felt scared for him. I hated him right now and I wanted to punch some sense into him but I never thought about actually hurting him. I could never do that.

"No Rick, we haven't." I answered him. Rick couldn't know that I felt this way. He looked at me slightly worried.

"I have to go. We don't want to spend another second here if it's not necessary."

"I understand. Say hi to everyone from me will you? And give a big kiss to Judith from okay?"

"Of course." he said hugging me one last time and placing a kiss on my cheek before he walked away.

When he left I walked back into my room, locking the door once more. I contemplated on spending the rest of the day in here but I decided against it. I decided to go look for Sherry instead. I think I remember where their room was. I was never going to tell her, or anyone for that matter, but I really envied her. She and Dwight were absolutely fine. I'm sure that they would have their problems, but they were still together at least. That is all I wanted. I finally got to their room and knocked on the door. I waited for a bit, but Sherry eventually opened the door.

"Hey. I wasn't expecting you. Come in." she said smiling at me. Their Rom was definitely bigger than mine. It had a double bed and two dressers. Did they actually own that many clothes? It had and big bookcase and a desk. It even had its own bathroom.

"Your room looks so comfy. I'm jealous." I said making her laugh. I lied down on the bed and she lied next to me.

"Well why didn't you ask for a bigger one? I'm sure Negan wouldn't mind giving you another."

"Oh, don't bring his name up. He has caused me enough of a headache for one day." I said and rubbed my temples.

"What did he do now? I was meaning to ask you what it is that he told you this morning after breakfast but I didn't know you'd be going on the run with them."

"I seriously didn't tell you? Oh no." I buried my head in the pillow but told her everything. I told her about his "request" this morning. About what happened to Hilltop. About Olivia and about everything with Daryl and what came after that. She was shocked. And slightly furious.

"Is he fucking serious? What the hell is wrong with him? I expected better from him. I swear to you he's gonna hear it."

"No, Sherry. Don't say anything to him."

"This isn't right, Liz. Who the hell does he think he is? To talk to you this way? To treat you this way? No. That can't happen. I will not let it. Someone needs to knock some sense into him. And then he kisses you?"

"It wasn't an actual kiss."

"It doesn't matter. It was worse than an actual kiss. Look at that, you have a hickey." I immediately panicked. What if Rick and Daryl saw it too? Oh, no.

"Sherry you can't say anything to him. You and I both know that it's pointless. And besides he obviously doesn't care. He was with her last night."

"I know." she said and looked at me with a sad expression on her face.

"How do you know?" I asked her.

"It doesn't matter, Liz. I just do." She said and looked away.

"No it does matter. How do you know?"

"You can hear them alright? Her room is the one next to us and if you're in the bathroom you can hear everything." I felt the need to throw up.

"Right." Was all I could say.

"And I saw him as he was leaving her room this morning. He's the one who told me about you. I should have punched him right there but all I could think about was you."

"It's okay. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Do you think he's in love with her?" she was a little surprised by my question but she answered me fast enough.

"No. Are you kidding me? He won't even kiss her on the mouth. He won't kiss any of them on the mouth. It's a rule or something. I believe that he is having his fun with her. Sure he cares about her, but I don't think that it's that deep."

"What? That they're not allowed to kiss him on the mouth? Why?"

"Why do you think? Because he hasn't kissed anyone like that after you and he clearly doesn't want to." Huh.

"This just makes things more complicated than they already are." I said sighing out loud.

"One minute he's insulting me, saying that he doesn't give a shit about me and then he kisses me, and Maggie tells me that he pushes me away to protect me, and you tell me that he never refuses to kiss them on the mouth. I don't know what to think anymore."

"Who is Maggie?"

"What? Out of all the things I told you that's what you focused on? She's my friend. The one that is pregnant and almost lost her baby because of him? She's going to spend some time at Hilltop because her condition isn't stable yet."

"And you told her about all of this?"

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Nothing. I'm just wondering that's all."

"That's not the point Sherry. What am I going to do? Am I really supposed to spend the rest of my life like this while MY husband is right next to me, but he's fucking these girls?"

"No. You're not. I told you what to do. You have to speak to him. Really speak to him. But don't let him get away this time. Make him understand that this can't happen."

"I wish it was that simple Sher. When he talks to me this way all I want to do us cry. I'm not kidding. I have cried today more than I have the past years."

"Don't you dare let him make you cry. He's just trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. I don't know why but you can't let him do this." I sighed once more.

"Can I ask you something now?" She asked and I nodded.

"This Daryl character. What is going on between you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you slept together? Or is it just platonic?"

"Sherry. It's not like that."

"Really? Because Negan was clearly jealous. He must have had a reason."

"No. He didn't. We're just really good friends. We've been through hell and back and he just cares about me. There's nothing going on. I promise."

"Alright. I'm going to believe you. Don't prove me wrong." She said trying to keep a stern face but I smiled at her. I looked back at the clock and I've been here for three hours.

"I won't. Listen I should probably get back to my room. This whole day was more than exhausting. I should get some sleep."

"Aren't you hungry? We could go get some dinner."

"No, my stomach is in knots. Thank you though. Come pick me up today for breakfast, okay? I really don't want to stumble upon them."

"Alright, I will." She pulled me into a hug.

"Have a good night okay?"

"Yes babe, you too." I said and walked outside closing the door behind me. I was so tired that I didn't even realise how fast I got to my room. I took my clothes off and lied on my bed. My eyes felt heavier than ever. I fell asleep looking at my wedding ring and thinking about this crazy day.

I woke up the next morning from a soft knock on my door. I had a headache like no other. My vision was blurry too. I probably slept in and that must be Sherry picking me up for breakfast.

"Just a second, Sherry." I yelled since the knocking didn't stop. I finally got to the door and opened the door.

"I am so sorry. I must have slept in, but I am not surprised. Yesterday was hectic and-"

"Yes, it was. Are you free to talk? We have a lot to talk about."

I was stunned. I sure as hell wasn't expecting my morning to start this way. It wasn't Sherry. It was Megan.


	8. Chapter 8

„Are you free to talk? We have a lot to talk about." It was Megan standing in front of me. I was surprised, to say the least. Maybe this day wasn't going to be this great after all.

"I don't think there is something we need to talk about." I replied. There really wasn't.

"Oh, but there is." she said pushing past me as she walked into my room. _Okay then._ I closed the door and turned to look at her. She got awfully comfortable as she was now sitting on my bed.

"We have to talk about Negan." she said crossing her hands to her chest.

"What about Negan?" Playing stupid right now wouldn't help since she already knew about my _situation_ with him, but I did not know what else to do.

"What about him? Oh, I don't know. What about the fact that when you met me in the showers you didn't even bother to mention your name, or who you are for that matter? And then even though Dwight said that you are Negan's wife, he came up to me and denied the whole story?" _So he denied the whole thing, huh? Was this his way of covering it up?_

"There really isn't a specific answer to your questions and since I don't really have to tell you any of this, what do you really want to know?"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Liz. I was with the group from Alexandria. I am pretty sure you've heard of us. There has been a war between the two groups for a long time now. One of us needed medical attention and we were heading to Hilltop because Dwight killed our doctor. Negan managed to trap us. He wanted to kill one of us but I offered myself to save my people. Turns out Dwight, Sherry and I knew each other since before the world went to shit. Dwight just likes to make jokes. A lot of them. There is nothing here, other than what I just told you. I am sure Negan would say the same." I really hoped she would believe this version of the truth. Otherwise, this would only get more complicated and she would only have more questions.

"But Negan also knew Dwight and Sherry since before everything happened. How come you've never met him?"

"Well maybe I have and I just can't remember."

"And why did he drag you like a crazy person out of the kitchen area yesterday?"

"Because he is crazy? Besides, I am just a woman he took into his sanctuary a day ago. From a group that killed a dozen of his people. He doesn't like me."

"If he didn't like you he wouldn't have brought you in here. Perhaps there is something else." she looked sceptical.

"What?"

"Well, maybe he wants to make you a wife. He has done it before. And you are more than just pretty, that is obvious." she said making me burst out laughing. I really wasn't expecting this to be her conclusion. She was looking at me in a strange way as I was still laughing. After a few more seconds of me laughing and her looking at me like I was crazy I finally managed to control myself.

"I really doubt that that's the case. Trust me."

"We're going to have to find out I guess." she replied. I realised in that moment that this was my chance to ask her something as well.

"Do you love him? Is that why you're asking me all of these questions?"

She looked a bit taken aback by my question and as if she was about to spill a secret that she fought really hard to keep.

"It's more complicated than that. I have strong feelings for him. He saved my life. When he found me I was alone. The people that I have been with since the start were all gone. There was no hope for me. If he hadn't shown up the exact moment he did maybe I would have been dead now. So, as you can understand I owe him a lot. When he asked me to become one of his wives I said yes. He was good to me in all ways. Like I told you that time in the showers, he really isn't this bad. If you spend some time with him, if you get to know him and if he opens up to you, you'll see it. He is a good man."

"And did he? Open up to you?"

"Yes, he did. It took a lot of time and effort but he did. You know, he did have a wife. Before everything. I knew that he used to be married. He told me that she was tragically killed by those monsters. When he talked about her, he had the same look on his face like the one he had the night you arrived at the Sanctuary. And then Dwight said all of those things, I couldn't help but think that somehow she survived. And that you were her."

"Well, I am afraid that is not the case." I replied. I needed some time to process all of this.

"Yeah I guess not." she said looking down for a few seconds before she looked at me again. "I am really sorry for keeping you. I should go. And I am sorry for the way I talked to you, I just thought-"

"It's okay. I understand." I reassured her.

She nodded standing up from the bed and walking to the door. "See you around" she said. Offering me a smile as she walked out. I stumbled back and fell on the floor. Before I could realise what was happening I noticed I was crying. Again. Why am I crying again? What is wrong with me? He probably didn't cry as much when he thought I was dead. It probably wasn't hard for him when he moved on and got so close to her that he talked to her about me being dead and how much it saddened him. I wish I could really know what was going on through his head. But I don't think he would ever tell me. Who knows? Maybe he would tell Megan.

This can't go on like this. If this is the way he wants things to be, fine. I am not going to initiate conversation ever again. I am going to play the role of the new girl who hates his gut as best as I can. He chose things to be this way. There is nothing I can do to change his mind. It's over.

 **Negan's P.O.V**

She is alive. She is fucking alive and she is here. She has been staying with us one day now and I still can't believe it. But I saw her die. She died in front of my own fucking eyes. This changes everything. Her death is the reason why I changed who I am. Why I changed my perspective of things. I lost everything in that moment. My entire fucking world was turned upside down by her supposed death. I was a wreck for so long. For two weeks I searched for her in those woods. Looking, if she was anywhere. If she somehow had gotten out of it alive and she was looking for me too. It was when Dwight and Sherry talked some sense into me that I decided to finally let go of her.

But did I really let go of her? She was everywhere. All the time. Every time I saw a girl that looked like her I couldn't even speak to her. For a really long time I thought that someday she would come back to me. That she would find her way back home. This place that I call home. That I built for her. She is standing here in front of me but it seems like we've missed out on so much of each other's lives. All I can think about is the hell she must have gone through. The shitty things she was obligated to do in order to survive. And how I was not there to help her. To protect her. If someone fucking touched her and she hasn't said a word about it, I don't fucking know what I will do.

I am not blaming her, though. Why would she want to talk to me? I treated her like shit. Like she was nothing. I basically told her she means nothing to me anymore. And then there is Megan. It was never supposed to get this serious between me and her. I can't really tell why she wants to be with me. Does she not know who I am and what I do? At first, I thought she was using me for her own protection. She can't really do much against those fucking monsters. She is helpless. Now, I don't know what she wants from me. She keeps asking questions about Liz. Perhaps she is suspecting something. I can't have her know a thing about who Liz really is.

I need to keep her safe. The enemies I have gained ever since this whole fucking disaster are too many. Too dangerous. And I never had anything that they could use against me. Something so valuable that it would kill me to lose. But now that's not the case anymore. I can never admit this to her, of course. She should never know how scared I am to lose her again. I have done my best, ever since she came here, to show her that we can't be together.

I feel like I don't know her anymore. She must have gone through so much. All of them must have gone through a lot. I see how Rick and the others are. So cautious. And they were so scared that night. But I couldn't have done it any other way. If Liz hadn't been there I probably would have killed one of them. But I didn't. Because she asked me not to. I guess she still has that effect on me. My thoughts were interrupted by an all too familiar knock on my door. I got up from the couch and I realised I was dressed in just a white T-shirt and jeans. I normally don't like my people seeing me like this, but right now I don't give a fuck. They kept on knocking.

"Will you fucking stop with the knocking? I am fucking coming." They wouldn't stop and I was ready to bash someone's head in with Lucille. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"We need to talk." Liz said with an unusual voice and she walked right into my room, pushing me out of the way. What is she doing here?

"Easy tiger. You almost knocked me down." I joked but she wasn't taking it. She kept a straight face on and had her hands inside her front pockets. Even though it hasn't been more than three years since I last saw her she looked older. Not in a bad way. She was skinnier than I can remember. Her face looked pale and her eyes weren't shiny anymore.

"This can't go on like this. It has got to stop." she stated.

"I really don't understand what the fuck you're talking about. Would you mind enlightening me, sweetheart?" I asked her.

"You need to stop with calling me sweetheart or darling or whatever the fuck you feel like it. I don't like it so stop."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, do you ever listen to me? I asked you to stop. I am not kidding and I don't care why you're doing it. But this ends now. Although this isn't the reason why I am here. Are you alright? Have you hurt your head lately? Because there is no other explanation for your behaviour. Why are people coming up to me, asking me if I am your wife? Why is Megan the very first person who is going to knock on my door in the morning to talk to me about you? Well, basically to interrogate me about you? She told me all about how you've met, and how much you've helped her, and how much you mean to her. I don't care and I thought you wanted to hide me away from the world. I thought that you don't want people to talk about me. Guess what? You have achieved the exact opposite. And I don't like it. I don't want a constant reminder of everything that we lost. Of everything that you want to hide away because you are a coward. Yes, you've always been one. If you are not able to deal with reality, fine. But you need to grant me some peace and quiet. I don't deserve this." she was crying and screaming at me by now. What the hell has happened these past two days?

"Okay listen to me. You need to calm down. What are you talking about? What happened?" I said approaching her, trying to calm her down.

"No, don't touch me. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand you anymore. If you want to push me out of your life fine. But do it in all kinds of ways. Don't talk shit to me and then go kissing my neck. Do you want us to be over? Great. Then be a man about it."

"You need to fucking stop talking this way, you get me? We've talked about this."

"No. You have. You are the one who always talks. But you never listen. You never ask me what I have to say about this. You never want to know. You think you are so smart, don't you? You believe that you know better than me and that I just have to follow your every order like I am one of those whores of yours. Well, guess what? I am not. Because they are the cheap ones, the easy ones. The ones who chose to open their legs to you in order to get by in this new world. And they are the only ones you can have. And that is proven. Isn't it? If you want to sink that low, good for you. But I am not going to be a part of your miserable life. So cut me out of it. I want to spend time with my friends. I am happy they are alive and well. But I want nothing to do with you. I am done."

I looked at her stunned. I didn't know what to answer first but she obviously didn't need a response. She stormed out of the room banging the door on her way out. Now I was more focused on one certain thing. Something I was never expecting from her. I picked it up from the ground and stared at it. It had a few scratches and the colour had faded a bit, but there was nothing else wrong with it. I walked to my nightstand and searched under my clothes. I found what I was looking for and lied on my bed holding both of them in my hands. I never thought she would feel so pressured to throw her wedding ring at me. She was a wreck. And I made her feel this way. I have to talk to her when she calms down. It's not over.


	9. Chapter 9

Liz's P.O.V

If anyone saw how I exited his room, they would have thought I was drunk. I walked away not really knowing where I was going. I have had enough. Even though I felt slightly bad for the things I told him I wasn't regretting one word. In the few days that I have been living here, he has broken my heart more times than he has in all the years we have been together. That has always been the main cause of our fights. Even when he was right he had to be cruel and hurtful about it. It was never easy to talk to him when he was pissed off. When we used to fight, he would leave and wouldn't come back for hours. We didn't fight often, but when we did it was rough. I was always left by myself to pick up the pieces. I should have gotten used to it by now, but it is just hard. Why does he have to be like that?

Before I realised what was happening and where I was going I found myself outside. It was late. It must have been about 1 am. Having a watch would be a luxury nowadays. Mine stopped working a couple of months ago, but I was still wearing it for some reason. There were only a few people outside and only three guards by the main gate. I had to get out of here. I felt like a prisoner. Like I couldn't breathe.

I knew I was taking a huge risk by trying to sneak out of the Sanctuary. I was debating whether I wanted to go to Hilltop or to Alexandria. I needed to see and talk to Maggie. Whenever I had a problem I would always go to her and it was so weird that she wasn't close to me anymore. But I also wanted to see Daryl, I missed him. We had a weird yet close bond. I couldn't go to Sherry. She wouldn't understand. In some way, she still thinks we're in the past. But we are not. I thought that me and him could exist in the same place without any problems and maybe someday we would work things out. That is not going to happen, though. It will never be the same again. I need to get out.

Sneaking out of the Sanctuary without drawing any attention to myself was easier than I thought. The guards were pretty good at keeping everything out but not at keeping everything in. Good for me I guess. I decided I wanted to go to Alexandria. I wanted to see Daryl. I am not sure how long it takes to walk to Alexandria but probably about 2 hours. Maybe more. I am not going to stop, I have to go. I need to see him. He is the only one who can help me.

I haven't been outside in three days but it felt more than that. I then realised that I only had one pocket knife with me. It wasn't exactly my choice of weapon but it was better than nothing. A gun would draw attention and it would be easier for Negan to find me. Because there is no way that he wouldn't figure out I was gone. Maybe not tonight but tomorrow he would know something is wrong. I don't think he is going to try to talk to me tonight. It was the first time that I was so harsh towards him. I even threw my wedding ring at him. My finger kept moving over the spot where my ring used to be. I haven't taken it off in ten years. It felt odd.

I kept walking and walking. It was quiet. I didn't come across any walkers so far. That was good. My head was fuzzy and I didn't have the physical energy to fight anything right now. It was cold and I was dressed only in jeans, a T-shirt and a very light jacket. I was never a fan of the cold. I always preferred a warm weather and the beach. Cold beverages and short summer clothes. Negan on the other hand always liked the cold. He liked Christmas and the snow. Coats and scarves and gloves. We didn't even have that in common. I shook my head trying to get all of these thoughts out of my head. It wasn't really helping the situation.

But the memories pushed through and it was painful. I have spent so many years with him. Despite the bad memories, which were a lot, we had a lot of great memories also. I have gotten used to it ever since the apocalypse started. It is easier to consider him dead. But now that I know he is alive it's all messed up. I had imagined it differently. That we would find each other and that everything would be like they used to be.

I am dumber than I thought I am. I laughed to myself. How can I be so stupid? You can't control him, you stupid girl. You never could. He never listened to you. To anything you ever said. He never needed you. He will let go of you like it's nothing. He might not even look for me. Perhaps he will think it is going to be easier this way. To just let me go. I will go back to staying in Alexandria. When he comes to collect our stuff from us, I will stay inside or I will go on a run that day. I would be able to visit Maggie whenever I want. I will not be able to see Sherry and Dwight as often though and I can't leave them now that I have found them. They will understand though. They have to. They will have to visit me there.

Yes, this is the way it should be. I am not leaving Alexandria ever again. He has to understand. After what happened tonight he will. He is not going to be difficult about it and he will be free to be with Megan or any of his sluts he wants. This is the right way.

Before I could realise it, I was in front of the walls of Alexandria. Someone was on watch duty but I couldn't understand who exactly. As I got closer I realised it was Abraham.

"Hold it right there. Who are you and what do you want?" he asked. He didn't recognise me. It was dark. I am not blaming him.

"Abe, it's me. Liz. Can you please open up?"

He lowered his gun as he was obviously confused about what I was doing here.

"Shit Liz. What are you doing here? You alright? Come on. I'm opening up right now." he said and did, in fact, open the doors. The minute I stepped inside I felt some kind of safety. I felt like I was home but not quite. I approached him and I wasn't expecting him to hug me but he did. I missed him too. I missed everyone.

"We were so worried about you, Liz. How are you? Did he hurt you?". As much as I loved Abraham I wasn't about to open up to him about this. Not right now anyway.

"I am fine, Abe. Don't worry. I am okay. Can we talk later? I need to see Daryl. I have to talk to him." He smiled at me.

"Of course you do sweetheart. Go on. He should be in his room. His wound wasn't that serious but he is not quite alright yet. I am sure he would be glad to see you."

"Thank you, Abraham. Can you please not tell everyone I am here? I want to speak to Daryl tonight."

"Sure thing. I'll see you in the morning."

He hugged me goodnight and moved back to the watch tower. I walked to the house Daryl lived in hoping that I wouldn't come across anyone else tonight. I was tired. I tiptoed inside the house heading straight to his room. I knocked but got no answer. So I decided to walk in any way. He was spread out on the bed. His shoulder was in bandages and he looked so pale. He must have lost a lot of blood. The doctor from the Hilltop would have probably wanted to keep him there for a few days, but knowing Daryl he definitely refused.

He was fast asleep but did not look like he was in any pain. I felt a little bad for wanting to wake him up, but this is the reason why I ran away. I need to talk to him. I closed the door behind me and moved closer to the bed. I placed gently my hand on his forehead to check for a fever but he wasn't warm. That's a good sign, I guess. His hair was getting longer and longer. You could barely see his eyes anymore. He really needed a haircut.

"Liz? What are ya doing here?" he asked me sitting up. He was surprised to see me of course.

"Hey," I said placing my hand on his cheek. God, I missed him. "Yes. I'm here. How are you? Are you in any pain?"

"Nah, I'm fine. It hurt like a bitch when the doctor tried to take the bullet out. And I lost a lot of blood. But I am fine now. I saw Maggie and Glenn the first day we stayed at Hilltop, they're all right."

"Why didn't you stay there as well? The doctor could have taken better care of you."

"I can't stay there, Liz. What if that psycho decides to hit us? I need to be here."

"Who is the psycho?"

"What, are ya fucking kidding me? That asshole ya call your husband. Speaking of whom, how are ya here? Did he just let ya go?" Oh right, Negan's the psycho.

"No." I paused. He is probably going to get mad at me. "Actually, he doesn't even know I'm here. I ran off in the middle of the night. I have no idea how I didn't get caught." Even though, the reason I came here is to speak to him, all of a sudden I didn't know where to begin.

"Ya realise that he is gonna come looking for ya right?" he seemed worried rather than mad.

"Yes, I know that Daryl. But you don't understand. I had to get away."

"Ya had to? Why? What happened over there?"

"Everything is different. For a split second, I really thought that things could go back to normal, somehow. But that can't happen. It's clear now. We have both changed so much. But I can never win with that man. The man I fell in love with and dreamed about building a life with is gone."

"Did he hurt ya?" he seemed like his temper was rising.

I took his hand in mine and looked into his eyes, even though I could barely see them with his hair all over. He always worried about me so much. And he always took care of me. Whenever I couldn't take care of myself. He taught me everything about surviving.

"No. Not like that. Don't worry. He is just trying to push me away. He doesn't want to let me in. His whole demeanour has changed. It's like I am trying to understand him but he doesn't want me to. And he is confusing me all the time." I can still remember how he kissed me that time.

"Do ya still love him? He is a dangerous man Liz." I realised I was still holding his hand.

"Of course I do, Daryl. He is my husband. I've spent nearly 10 years with him. But I can't see him as the man you do."

He pulled his hand away from mine and stood up. He started pacing back and forth. "Don't ya see that he would have killed one of us if ya weren't there that night? That is all that kept him from killing us."

"I get that, but he didn't. He did not kill any of us."

"And what if ya had stayed back that day? And what if ya had stayed back that day? How would ya have felt when ya would have figured out later that your precious husband killed someone ya love?"

"But that didn't happen, alright? I have enough on my plate as it is."

"I am just trying to prove to ya that he is not the man ya think he is. And he is going to figure out ya left. Sooner or later. What happens when he comes here? What if he's willing to kill to get to ya?"

"He knows that if he hurts someone I love I will not go back to him. Ever. He is going to try to take me back to the Sanctuary by force. But that's it."

I looked at him and he seemed so distressed. He also looked ready. Daryl was always ready to face whatever threat came upon him. And he did consider Negan a threat. How couldn't he? But he wasn't a threat to me.

"Listen. I am really tired. I walked here all the way from the Sanctuary. Can I stay here tonight, please? If you don't want me to, I can leave."

"No. Don't. Of course, you can stay. Come here." he said approaching me. He lied on the bed and I snuggled close to him while he put his arms around me. I haven't felt this safe ever since I left Alexandria. Daryl had the same scent. It hasn't really been that long but it felt like too long.

"Thank you, Daryl. For everything."

"Go to sleep angel." he said kissing my forehead as I drifted off to sleep.

Negan's P.O.V

I woke up the next morning with a major fucking headache. It was 9 am. My watch still worked miraculously. I haven't fucking slept in, in a long time. The light was peeking through the blinds. I dreamed about Liz. Nothing unusual. I always seem to dream about Liz. I hurt her a lot. It has gotten out of hand. She needs to be safe. Her life can't be in danger because of me. But we can't go on like this. I am going to keep hurting her and that is the last thing I want. She can't stay here anymore. But I also don't want to let her out of my sight ever again. How can I be certain that she will be okay? Should I depend on Daryl to keep her safe? No, fuck him. I don't want him anywhere near her. She can't leave. But she also can't stay here like this. I should just talk to her and see how everything is going to work out.

I finally decided to get up but my head felt heavier than it ever did. I didn't even get drunk last night. As I got up I heard something falling on the floor from my bed. It was the rings. I forgot I fell asleep with our wedding rings in my hand. I still remember the day I proposed to her. She was so surprised, even though I am sure she knew I was planning it for two weeks. She told me it was one of the best days of her life. And I swore that I would never hurt her like this. So much for keeping my word.

After I got dressed, since I wasn't really hungry, I decided to go find her. She should be in her room. Knowing Liz, she is probably going to ignore me and act like I am not there. She used to do that all the time back in the day. As I was about to knock on her door Dwight ran towards me, almost knocking me down.

"What the hell Dwight?"

"We have a problem." he told me. Great. What the fuck happened now?

Liz's P.O.V

I woke up from a loud noise coming from inside the room. I instantly got up from the bed out of habit. Apparently, it was Daryl who bumped on some furniture. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was really trying not to wake me but it was in vain. I giggled and he heard me. He had an apologetic look on his face.

"Hey." I told him stretching out on the bed. I haven't slept so peacefully since I left Alexandria.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake ya." he said.

"Oh, it's okay. Don't worry. I shouldn't be sleeping for so long again."

"Again? Ya never sleep in!" he sat at the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, but I should be up. Thank you for letting me spend the night. I needed it."

"Don't mention it."

Even though this was great I knew that it wasn't going to last long. Any time now he is going to be here and I am going to go back to reality.

"Stay here with me." Daryl said.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Stay here. With me. When he comes, say that ya want to stay with me. Talk to him. Make him understand. Stay here with us. Not just for me, for Rick, for Carl and Judith and for Maggie and Glenn. She is going to need ya when the time comes. And ya and I both know that he ain't gonna let ya visit whenever ya want. Just stay."

"I want to. I really do. But it's not that simple Daryl. I can't just cut him out of my life and move on. And I have friends back there too. Friends from before everything went to shit that was with him this entire time. I just found them. I can't just leave them."

"You don't get it, do ya? He is never gonna stop. He is gonna keep it up this way till he wins this thing. And I am not about to let ya get hurt. But I also can't keep doing this, Liz. So you gotta make a choice."

"What are you talking about? There is no choice to be made." I was pacing like he was last night.

"Like hell, there isn't. That bastard is only gonna keep hurting ya. He has a bunch of whores that he fucks whenever he feels like it. If it was me, I would've left everything to be with ya. And he doesn't even give a fuck. How can ya be so blind to stay with him, huh?"

"You are pushing it too far and if you-"

"Liz? So it's true? You are here?" it was Rick, but he didn't seem happy to see me. He looked rather mad actually.

"Yes. I am."

"Well, I am sorry if I am interrupting something between the two of you, and I am really happy to see that you're alright, but he is here. He is looking for you and he is pissed as hell."

"Oh my God. Is he threatening someone?"

"No. Not yet. But I am not going to take any chances. I am sorry Liz, but you need to come down and talk to him."

"Yes, I'll be right down." I replied. He gave me a soft smile as he left the room. I was following close behind Rick when Daryl grabbed my hand turning me around to look at him.

"I asked ya a question. So?"

"You are not serious now, are you? I can't just stay in here and refuse to see him. Who knows what he is going to do then?"

"He is gonna suck it up. He is gonna figure out that he was an asshole who wasted his chances with ya."

"But he didn't." I said pulling my hand from his. I can't just leave Negan. I know that Daryl wouldn't understand me and that he wouldn't be as willing to help me next time. But if I didn't try to fix things with Negan I knew I would regret it.

"I have to try. I have to." I told him, but he already looked like he wasn't interested anymore. "I am sorry." I said and exited the house.

Rick was walking me to the gates but he was silent. I was almost scared to talk to him but I had to know what was going on in his head. We have been through so much. I have been with them ever since that little camp we had. Before the farm and everything.

"Do you hate me? Because I know that you hate him. You all do. And I don't exactly blame you."

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me like I insulted him or something.

"Don't you ever say that again. You and I have been through hell and back. We've changed and we've grown. You have been there for me when Lori died. And you have basically raised Judith and helped Carl out when I couldn't. How could I be mad at you? But I can't take any chances with him. He is dangerous. He is worse than anything we've ever dealt with. He might be your husband, but to us, he is nothing more than a man who wants to kill us. I don't have anything else to say."

"I get it. Don't worry. Kiss little Judith for me, will you? And Carl too?"

"Of course."

We smiled at each other and continued walking. As we were approaching I could see Negan. He was alone. There was no one else with him. He was so mad. It was obvious. He found me really soon. I was expecting him here by noon.

"Thank you for bringing her." He told Rick, not even looking at me once.

"Sure. Just make sure she is alright."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he looked so defensive, ready to fight.

"I'm just saying that if she left in the middle of the night to come here, she probably wasn't comfortable there. Don't you think?"

"Ha. Yeah? You think so? Nah. My wife just likes to play fucking games with me, doesn't she?" he asked, this time, looking directly at me.

"Can we just go?" I asked not looking in his eyes. I simply couldn't.

"Yes, we fucking can. Get in the fucking car."

I walked slowly behind him. It seemed like from the very thing I was running away from, I couldn't get away. Why can't things be easy and simple for once? I took a look and him and he seems angry and lost in his thoughts. As if he can't see straight, he also looks out of it. His hair is a mess, in comparison to his usual well combed and slicked back hair.

I got in the car, putting on my seatbelt and turn to look out the window. I hope he is not up for a chat right now. I know I am not. He starts the car and drives away from Alexandria. I see Rick standing in front of the gates, while Eugene is closing them. How long till I see them again? His knuckles are white from how tight he is holding on to the steering wheel. He is mad and I am all over the place. We shouldn't talk about this. Now is not the time. But he stops the car in the middle of nowhere and gets out. Great.

"What the hell were you thinking Liz?" he yells at me. "Something could've happened. You could have fucking died. What if a fucking herd had come your way?"

"I can take care of myself." I responded standing my ground.

"Oh, I am sorry. You would have fucking protected yourself with that fucking pocket knife of yours?" He said reaching inside my pocket, takes it in his hand and throws it on the ground.

"Yes. With that fucking pocket knife of mine. It protected me just fine when you weren't there didn't it?" I asked ironically. He stares me and runs his hand across his face. God, it's going to be one of those fights.

"Do you want to fucking go there, Liz? Really? What do you want me to say? That I am sorry? I fucking am. There you fucking have it. I didn't mean to lose you that day. It fucking broke me. I went back for you countless of times. I searched the entire fucking area, again and again. What else do you fucking want me to do about it?"

"I don't want you to say anything Negan. I want you to do something. Except make me feel like shit. Because ever since I've been back that's all you do. You've hurt me more in those few days than you've hurt me our whole life together. Do you know that?"

"I do. I fucking do. And do you think I fucking enjoy it? That I am having fun breaking your heart all the time? I swore that I would never fucking do that. Ever, in my life."

"You did. And yet?"

"And yet I am breaking my fucking promise to keep you safe-"

"To keep me safe? So, do you really believe that the whole reason you're doing this is to protect me? Really? How, Negan? How are you protecting me by forcing me to run away from you?"

"Forcing you? Really doll? No, I didn't fucking force you. You chose to put your life in danger. You made me come after you."

"You didn't have to." I whispered.

"What did you say?" he asked but I didn't answer. I turned away from him, struggling not to cry. He grabbed my arm and turned me around to look at him. It was the first time that his eyes looked hurt. "Tell me what the fuck you just said."

"I was just thinking that maybe it would be better if-"

"If what, Liz?"

"If things just went back to normal."

"What the fuck is normal to you? Is going back to them normal to you? Or do you just want to be with that redneck asshole?" he was overly jealous once again.

"Negan that-"

"So what if she wants to be? Are ya gonna force her to stay with ya? Is that what ya gonna do? Some man ya are." Daryl said slowly approaching with his gun raised. In a matter of seconds, Negan raised his gun as well.

"Daryl what are you doing here? Please just go."

"Nah. I don't think so, Liz. That's enough."

"Is that so, boy? What are you gonna do about it?" They were both getting too close to each other and I was in the middle.

"I'm gonna take her away from ya. What have ya done to deserve her?" Negan burst out laughing.

"You do know that she's my wife, right?"

"It probably doesn't mean much to ya, since ya got dozens of those right?" Ouch, that hurt. But Negan wasn't laughing anymore.

"It's none of your fucking business. Now, why don't you turn the fuck around and go back where you came from? As you can see we were having a fucking conversation here."

"Yeah, and ya asked her if she wanted to come back with us. With me. She didn't give ya an answer did she?"

"Daryl please stop."

"No. Why don't ya tell him what ya told me yesterday night?"

"Oh, what did you tell him last night baby?" Negan said placing a hand on my waist, obviously to make Daryl jealous. This wasn't going to end well; I am sure of it.

"Nothing. Let's just go."

"No, we're not going anywhere sweetheart. What did you tell him last night?"

"She told me she wants to get away from ya as soon as possible. Why don't ya get it? She can't stand ya anymore. She came to me crying. Ya hurt her enough. Why don't ya just let her go? I asked her last night if she wanted to stay with me. And she said yes. All she worried about was the friends that she will leave behind. Not ya. She doesn't worry about ya. She's over ya. Why the hell don't ya just let her go?"

Negan wasn't obviously wanting to hear all of this and I didn't want him to. I want to be away from him but I can't leave him. But things can't go on like this.

"She would never leave me again. Not now that I just found her. Ain't that right?"

"Negan I-"

"Of course she would. Do ya think that she is going to stick around after everything ya did to her?"

"Why don't you shut your hole for one minute you piece of shit? I am talking to my wife right now."

"Ya have nothing to say to her. Don't ya ever think if she wants to listen?"

"Take a fucking walk asshole and leave us alone."

"Nah that ain't gonna happen. I am not leaving without her."

"Well, you're gonna have to because she won't be coming with you, no matter what you say."

"Can both of you please stop?" I yelled but they were too caught up in their anger to notice me.

"Come on Liz. We're going home." Negan said grabbing my arm forceful without letting Daryl out of his sight.

"Can't ya see you're hurting her? Let her go."

"She'll be fine. Won't you doll?"

"Maybe ya haven't heard me but you won't walk away with her. She's coming back with me."

"Really? Over my dead body, you'll take Liz away from me. I'll kill you if I have to."

"So be it."

They both raised his guns and before I could realise it, he shot him. He fell to the ground and all I could see was blood. My knees got weak and I fell next to him holding his hand. We've been through so much together. He can't die now after everything. His face got pale immediately.

I looked up at him not believing that he could do this to me. I looked at him through tears.

"What did you do?"


End file.
